A Thousand Pieces
by Demetrius Hit Gravity
Summary: Amanda/OC "It's always darkest before dawn, Manda." "I still haven't seen the sun..." "Then start dreaming." "Dreams don't work unless you do." "Start working." Bensaro. Fin/Melinda. Minor Violence. Romance. Drama. COMPLETE. Femslash.
1. Crash and Burn

"H-He was pissed, I-I tried to calm him down, but he just." Her voice trails off as she rants about in her apartment.

"Vianna, it's okay take your time." I explain to her as Amanda and I stand in front of her taking notes of her rape. She walks over to all her windows and closes the blinds shut.

"He said he can see in my apartment and h-he will always know where I am." Vianna pushes her hands back on her Asian face and moves her hair out the way. Her wrists had abrasions and bruises to them and so did her face.

"Did he make any threats to you?" Amanda asks.

"He said not to tell anyone or he will have me deported. You can't do that right?" She was frantic.

"We can't make any promises, Vianna but we will try." She promises.

"What happens if I get deported? He just walks free?"

"Vianna, what is that on your neck?" I say moving towards her. Vianna screams for me not to touch her and I stop. "Can you lift your hair up for me?"

She pulls her hair back to reveal, a bar code. Written in blue ink was tattooed on her face.

"When did he do that?" Amanda was now looking at the bar code with me.

"I-I-I don't know, he hit me on the head and I was sleep for a long time. It was light outside when I got hit on the head and when I woke it was light outside….."

"Vianna, can you come with us to the hospital and we can get you checked out."

The 25-year old slide down her wall to the floor and cradles her knees. "It's always like this..."

"Like what?" I say.

"I get mail from people saying I don't belong here, I am an alien. They spray paint things on our doors. No one will believe me." She covers her face and you can no longer see her emotions.

"Vianna," Amana touches her shoulder, causing her to flinch a little, but then look at her. "It doesn't matter who you are or where you came from, we will get you justice."

1-6 Precincts

Olivia.

After Vianna, two more victims had been found. Both Asian. 2 from China, 1 from Vietnam. They had been told threats of deportation if they told. Also, barcodes were imprinted on their necks.

"He targets full Asian women between 22-26. Obviously a Hate Crime, they were threatened with deportation. How come we haven't nailed this guy yet?" Katelynn Asuni, our temporary detective transferred from Brooklyn SVU. So far, she's been here for 2 months. And it doesn't look like she's leaving any time soon.

"And you're just his type." Fin jokes. My opinion on our transferee was…okay. Her recommendation's list was a normal size. And so far, I have seen a good detective. She was a good detective.

"Actually, I am not." Kate sighs and looks over a file she has been holding for about the 10th time.

"How so?" Fin smiles.

"I am Japanese. Not Taiwanese or Chinese. But nice try." She smiles back playfully.

"Let's all leave the topic of Detective Asuni's race and focus on this case. We got a new victim at Bellevue." Cragen emerges from his office, still standing in the doorway. "I want Kate and Amanda for this."

I could tell Amanda was skeptical. I didn't know what it was but Amanda put some distance between her and Katelynn. I never asked Amanda what it was for or even what her problem was.

**3****rd**** Person**

The blonde did not want to take a ride with the transfer. She didn't like her character, how she handled things. It wasn't a discrimination thing, just dislike for Katelynn's personality. Her personality was isolated, like she looked down on the rest of the squad. But, she didn't argue with her Captain and walked out into the cold late November weather with the Asian.

Of course, Kate was not an idiot. She knew Amanda disliked her and was perfectly okay with that. Her most important moral was that everyone doesn't have to like you and they won't. She only wished the blonde would make it less obvious for Christ Sake. Amanda hugged herself into her coat as Katelynn walked in her pea-coat and beanie as if the cold haven't bothered her.

"How are you not freezing to death?" Detective Rollins didn't think before she asked the question and didn't think of herself of striking up conversation with the other woman.

"I have lived in some of the coldest places. This is warm to me." Kate was shocked by Amanda talking with her. Parts of her just wanted for whatever problem they had with each other to just vanish. They weren't high school girls.

"Really? Where?" The blonde just continued to stop thinking before talking.

"Moscow, Niagata, Canada and Wisconsin." She answers, still taken aback by the detectives' questions. They reach the sedan and their conversation stop while Amanda gets in the driving side and the Asian turns on the heat in the car. "I like the cold." She adds.

Amanda just smiles and starts the engine. Katelynn just hoped that Amanda would stop showing so much hatred to her. Her moral was slowly slipping away because of it. It was a moral her parents had taught her growing up. Detective Asuni's father was fully Japanese while her mother was Russian-American, so her life was very interesting growing up. From moving from to Russia when she 14 to once again having to move to Canada.

"I can't stand it. You seem to move a lot."

"I had a lot of…..family issues." The Asian had dropped a bomb so small yet so important about her childhood. The blonde was surprised. This small fact about her life had sparked some type of reality. Maybe there was a reason she acted the way that somewhat irritated Amanda. Amanda took her eyes of the road for a quick glance at Katelynn facial expression only to get stuck on it. Her light blue eyes didn't look back at Amanda just ahead but the Georgian women could see clear through that. Obvious signs of child abuse. The distant look, the isolation.

Katelynn didn't believe herself. She had told, the one woman who despised her horrible events of her childhood. Indirectly. It wasn't a lie, or something Kate could hide. The brown haired detective could feel the other woman staring at her. This was the only thing the two woman had in common, family issues.

"Katelynn-" Amanda was cut off.

"Amanda! Watch out!" Katelynn screamed it at the top of her lungs. Amanda didn't react in time as the Ford Focus heading their way collided with the truck.


	2. Guilt

Katelynn reacted on instinct and used her hand to try and deflect any glass or metal. She got a quick look at her co-worker before the car spun out of control. She felt a sharp pain shoot throughout her left arm and a banging on the back of her head. The lights went dark for her as she didn't seem to grip onto what was happening.

The blonde couldn't feel her legs. They could most likely be broken, or worse, she was paralyzed. But Amanda didn't have time to focus on that. Her only problem was to get away from the growing gasoline smell. As she looked to her right she saw Katelynn with blood dripping from her brown roots down to her ear.

"Katelynn?" Amanda called out. She fidgeted with her seat belt to get to the unconscious women but it wouldn't come loose. The Asian's eyes were flickering. That was a sign of hope. Amanda was able to get free from her seat belt only to find a sharp pain in her side.

A large shattered edge of glass from the windshield was lodged in her side. The car had spun over on its side and the only thing keeping the women up was their seat belts.

A strained scream like someone had lost their voice came through the damaged car. It was Detective Asuni. She was awake now. Even though she was in pain, Amanda was glad Kate was alive.

Both the detectives heard sirens in the distance. Another women and man from the Ford Focus they had crashed into had emerged from their also damaged vehicle with obvious injuries.

Katelynn didn't even register the EMT's and Paramedics hauling her onto a stretcher and into the ambulance. Her vision was blurry and her body felt numb. All she wanted to do was sleep. She felt so tired and worn out.

"Kate? Stay with us." A voice says. The voice wasn't registered and Kate didn't care.

All Amanda could smell was anesthetic. It was sharp in her lungs and with every breath she could feel something tugging at her. More like pulling. She tried to remember who she was and where she was. How she got here. The blonde started to fidget as she attempted to sit up.

"Amanda?" The voice was familiar but she just couldn't remember. Footsteps came closer to her and then stopped in front of her. She looked up to see, Fin. Her partner. "You're okay, baby girl."

"What happened?" Her voice croaked out like something she had never heard before. The sound even made Amanda jump.

"You were in a car crash. You're okay now." Fin reassures. Then it all floods back to her at the mention of a car crash. Fin sees this and pushes a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Is Katelynn okay?" Amanda's voice still wasn't normal but she had to try. God, she hoped Kate was okay.

"Amanda, she's still unconscious. Olivia and Captain are with her now." He sighs, obviously showing his dislike for anyone being hurt right now.

"I want to see her." The blonde _made_ her voice stronger. She didn't want her desperate, dry voice to give Fin motive for her to stay.

"You can't. Doctor's orders. Bed rest for now, baby girl."

The hospitalized detective threw her head back in frustration. She wanted to talk with Kate, explain to her she wasn't alone and more important apologize for always being bitchy towards her. But as long as the Asian was unconscious, she would have to wait. Fin handed her a cup of water for her throat and Amanda accepted.

She took 3 small sips and cleared her throat. "What are her injuries?"

"Massive head trauma, broken arm, cuts and scrapes. The doctors are worried about internal bleeding and…they think if she might become be mentally disabled from the trauma." Amanda's eyes grew wide open. "Don't worry, it's a theory. They aren't 100% positive."

Katelynn wanted to open her eyes so bad. The images were horrifying. Thousands of people were being shot and mutilated in front of her and she couldn't do a damn thing about it but watch. Some of those victims she knew, some she didn't. But every dream was different. One dream traumatized her. The Asian was running, chasing something. It was a voice. A child's screaming for Kate to help her, but Katelynn ran and ran for miles and couldn't find the child. Suddenly the child appeared in front of her and when the child ran towards Kate, BANG. The child took a bullet to the head.

She shot up, screaming. Tossing white sheets aside. A used to be asleep Captain Donald Cragen and Detective Olivia Benson looked at her fearfully. Her screaming voice was high-pitched and long.

"Katelynn, Kate! You're okay. You're okay." Olivia held Kate's shoulders and until her breathing returned to normal. Cragen stood right behind Olivia, concerned.

He saw every member of his squad as a part of his family. He thought of all of them as his sons and daughters and would do anything to protect them. Donald was in a full swing of concern when the doctor mentioned brain trauma and the concern and worry only heightened when she woke up screaming.

"I will never be able to ride in a car again…" Kate says staring directly in front of her. Olivia looked to her Captain with a smile. They both had a large amount of relief wash over them at hearing their detective in a perfectly normal state.

"Okay, who put rocks in my head? This is serious." The brunette rubbed her temples.

"No one. How are you feeling?" Olivia said smiling.

"Other than my head and the fact I cannot feel my right arm, I'm pretty good. Is Amanda okay?" This time Kate looked at the senior detective.

"She is fine. But she heard the screams." Everyone turns their head to the hospital room door to find, Fin standing there in jeans and a red t-shirt.

Fin was good at hiding his emotions. He was secretly giddy that everyone was okay. Amanda and Kate were alive. They had survived.

"Holy shit." The Asian yelped clutching her side. A terrible pain had shot threw it without a moment's notice. It was exuberating. It was like someone had set fire to her side and put a dagger on the inside.

She lifted up the hospital shirt to find blood oozing out of fresh stitches.

"Fin, get a doctor in here." Olivia commanded grabbing gauzes from off the bed side table. "Now." She added. "Kate you're going to be okay." Everyone was worried again. The injured brunette had a total of 10 stitches on her left side and blood was oozing out of them like a fresh river.

"I…don't think…I should be…this dizzy." Kate was going unconscious again. Olivia's hands were nearly soaked to the bone with the Asian's blood when 4 doctors and 2 nurses stormed in the room.

"She's going to need a blood transfusion. Do any of you know her blood type?" A blonde haired doctor said turning to the detectives and their captain.

"No, we don't." Answers Fin.

"Nurse, check her records see if we can find out her blood type." The doctor orders.

The doctors and the one left nurse stood over Katelynn, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Back off you vultures, I'm not dead yet." Katelynn manages to say. Someone must have given her some pain medication through a syringe because her pain was decreasing. Either that or, she was, actually dying. That was something Kate was good at, being a pessimist at times.

She feared going back into a drug induced coma or going back to sleep for the fear she would have another round of traumatizing nightmares. What would it be this time?

**4 Hours Later.**

Amanda was preparing to be released. She had dressed herself, grateful to be out of the paper then hospital gown. As she headed out into the waiting room. The blonde wasn't in the best condition to be released, but she had pleaded with the doctor.

Thick gauze was wrapped around her side, covering most of her abdomen. Crutches were for 2 reasons, one was her side wasn't exactly stable to hold all her weight at one time and two because she had badly sprained her wrist. Nick took her bag from her when she walked out the door and she silently wished him thank you.

"You're looking better." Nick says taking in Amanda. Truth be told, she look dreadful. There were cuts on her face and she looked much worn out.

"Shut up." Amanda tries to put on smile but it fails. "Can I see Katelynn?"

"Um, Amanda she is in surgery right now. Even if she wasn't, she would be knocked out from pain meds." The Cuban answers.

"Is she okay?" Amanda hitched concern in her voice.

"Just a simple operation for her side. "

Nick gives a smile to reassure the female everything was okay. "You hungry?"

"Yeah sure." The blonde returns the smile.

Amanda was concerned. It was her fault practically. She didn't pay attention to the rode. And she felt like she owed Katelynn an apology. She had judged her before she knew her story and it wasn't fair. Especially after she learned what Katelynn most likely endured during her childhood years.

The blonde prayed that Katelynn was okay. She wouldn't be able to life with herself.


	3. Secret Released

The voice wakes the Asian rouse immediately. At first, her vision was blurry and her limbs felt like jello. She tried to move or sit up or God, do something. But it fails. So she just sits back and with time Kate starts to feel her limbs again.

"You hate me, don't you?" The voice repeats. Either, the person was crazy or they knew she was awake.

Amanda had been sitting in Katelynn's hospital room for the past 4 hours. It had been nearly 2 weeks since she was discharged from the hospital but that didn't stop her from coming to see the brunette. Guilt had consumed and threw her up between those days. She had done what her job had taught her not to, judge someone. Never mind the fact she caused the women to be hospitalized. But, the Asian looked magnificent in the glow of the Indian Summer sun shining through the windows. Kate's light brown hair was sprawled outward on the white hospital pillow and her face seemed to relax while she slept.

Yes, the blonde had been talking to her unconscious state. Nick, Liv, Fin, Captain, just about everyone told her that the car accident wasn't her fault but she still came.

"Oh my fucking god, Amanda. Shut up." Katelynn's voice sent a wave of humor, relief and shock through Amanda. A smile tugs at both the women's mouths.

"Good to see you awake." The blonde responds. She watches Kate struggle to sit up. "You need help?"

Kate shakes her head no and eventually is able to sit up. "Ugh, I don't even want to imagine desk work for at least a month, thanks Amanda."

For a moment Amanda thinks she is serious. That Katelynn really blames her. So they sit in silence for 30 minutes before a nurse walks in and begins to take her vitals.

"Al 'righty now. Mrs. Asuni, one word with the doctor and I think you might be able to leave later on today." Says the flamboyant nurse. She had colorful scrubs and bright flowered pin in her hair that clashed making her light blonde hair look a million different colors.

"I'm not married." The brunette clarifies.

"Oh my bad, sugar." The nurse replies with a laugh. She was an older woman. With wrinkles tugging at her pale skin and Amanda could tell the woman didn't give a rat's ass about Kate's formal title. "Be right back." The woman leaves the room and Katelynn automatically turns her head to the blonde.

"Amanda." She says silently. Amanda darts her head up to find Kate's piecing grey eyes looking at her dead on.

"Yeah?" Her southern drawl escaped her when she answered.

Kate clears her throat as if she was going to say something difficult. "What the hell is your problem with me? And don't give some bullshit answer." Katelynn was consumed on thinking about Amanda; she didn't even register the nurse at first. But then, just like her father had always said, her curiosity and frustration gets the best of her and she speaks without thinking. Her father. God, she didn't even want to try and think about him. The man he stole 7 years of her life.

"Katelynn, I know. I am a bitch. I shouldn't have treated you like that. I barely knew you and I was judging you. I am sorry. It's been killing me." The blonde replies. She didn't take her time to answer because she had mentally prepared herself that at some point, this answer would come.

"What did you think so poorly of me? I'm not perfect but God." The brunette rolls her eyes in the back of her head. She was even confused if it was real or not.

"I guess you could say I didn't like your attitude and your personality. You always acted isolated like the rest of the squad wasn't worth your time but now, I understand."

"Two things. One. I never, ever, thought that about the squad. And two, what do you understand?"

"Katelynn, I understand that you didn't have a normal childhood." The two detective's eyes meet and Amanda sees the same thing she saw in that last moment in the car before the crash. The fire, that hint of anger and sadness.

Katelynn immediately moves her eyes off of Amanda's and turns forward. "That's an understatement. Not normal doesn't even scratch the surface."

Katelynn was too stubborn and partially embarrassed to make eye contact with her co-worker. She wanted to appear strong. Her life as a child wasn't very perfect.

"What happened when you were a kid?" Amanda leans forward to Kate. Eager to know her secret. The Asian was persuasive, smart, observative and even Amanda couldn't ignore this, attractive. Did Amanda have feelings for Kate? Hell, nearly a week ago she hated her. But there was always something deep inside of Amanda that wanted Katelynn. The blonde was secretly attracted yes. But how would she know how the hospitalized woman in front of her felt?

"My parents weren't meant for each other. My father was fully Japanese and 22; my mother was Russian and only 20. I was an accident. Not meant to be there. Something they wanted to get rid of. I guess my mother missed being a young adult so she left me and my father when I was 2. Even before…they didn't care about me. My father followed my mother out of Japan to Russia, and when 'we' found her she practically shoved it in my face, I wasn't wanted. But, my dad was persistent to get my mother back and he followed her around the world. In between that though, my life was hell." The detective stopped talking, her eyes never met with the Georgian women. The piercing greys looked straight ahead.

But in Katelynn's mind, she was reliving it.

* * *

"_Where are you, you little bitch!?" Katelynn's father rampaged through their house drunk. She hid in a closet behind her bed. At her age of 5, she could easily fit in the little space. Kate prayed that her father wouldn't find her that he would just cool off and leave._

_His footsteps pounded in her ear as he walked into her bedroom. "Katelynn….." His voice frightened her. She pressed her ears to her head over top of her long brown hair. She started to think of a song. Each beat was the thud of her father's shoes on the wooden floor._

_She thought she was imagining it when the footsteps got louder and closer. Kate moved to the farthest corner in the space when she saw shadows under the door. She could tell her bed was moved from the space when a creek, indicating the door was opening reached her ears._

"_I found you." He smiles. No matter how many times she has seen his scary twisted face in a drunken rage, it still sent a shudder chill down the 5 year olds back. As much as she backed up, he still dragged her out of the closet and started kicking her lungs._

* * *

"Katelynn!" Amanda screams. The detective had watched her shake for 5 minutes before realizing, she was having a day dream.

"Sorry. Got a little carried away." The now known Russian-Asian apologizing before turning her head back towards the door. It was a reflex that she jumped when the door open to reveal, two people.

One was the nurse, with her discharge papers and prescriptions, the other was Olivia.

"Please, please tell me I can leave? Like now?" The grey-eyed woman says this like her and Amanda's previous conversation had been forgotten.

"Yes ma'am. You just have to sign for pain meds and discharge and you are good to go." The nurse answers. Then just like that, after Kate signs the papers, the nurse leaves without a second word.

That leaves the three women of SVU to themselves. They sit in silence.

"Olivia, I feel like one of you is hiding something from me. It's quite annoying." Katelynn says fed up with the silence.

"What? No one is hiding anything. It's just dangerously awkward in here. Cragen says you can come back in a week. But desk duty for 2 weeks. Or at least till you heal." The senior detective says. "And I brought you this for your discharge." Liv removes a bag from behind her back.

"More details please." Kate laughs.

"Clothes. Duh." Olivia walks the bag over to Katelynn and hands it to her.

Olivia could tell something was off. After all, she was a cop. The way Amanda was look towards Kate and the way Kate wouldn't look at her for dear life. Something had happened and Liv knew it.

"Spasibo." The Asian smiles at the detective weakly before turning her attention back to the door.

"Vash privetstvuyetsya." The brunette replies.

"What?" The blonde speaks up. Confused with whatever the hell the other women were saying.

"Thank you and your welcome in Russian." Katelynn answers. The blonde understands now, she was part Russian.

"Well, I better head back to the station. Amanda, you coming?" Olivia asks, looking towards the blonde.

Amanda nodded her head. The Georgian wanted to stay in the hospital room and talk with Kate more, but she didn't want to raise suspicion with the detective. She stood up from the metal hospital chair that she had become oh-so comfortable with. Careful to put only so much weight on her side at one time. Even though the cut in her side had healed, she still had to be careful. Always careful.

The grey-eyed woman felt like she was finally able to breathe when Amanda and Olivia had left. She had just told a co-worker, the woman who had hated her, a terrible factor of her life. Her childhood was supposed to be something secret.

**Yall. I need some reviews. For real. I need reviews. They motivate me.**


	4. Arrest for Prostitution?

**Thanks a million to my first reviewer: Crazed4SVU **

**She motivated me to write this chapter I had originally planned Bensaro for this, and it mostly still will because what is about to happen won't work for those two. Remember Femslash c:**

"Nick, I am not 3. I can walk on my own." Katelynn reassures her co -worker. Nick had been helpful, but she hated being babied. Maybe because she never got to experience like a normal person would.

But the Asians thoughts didn't register Nick slipping his arm around her waist. She flinched at his warm touch.

"Sorry, a little jumpy." She explains. Her mind quickly went back to Amanda. The first person she had told about her childhood. No one, not one soul knew but Amanda. How could she so easily confess in the Southern woman? It was a mistake for sure. Now things were definitely going to be different. Kate didn't want anyone to know because she wanted to be seen as normal. No one would want to be looked at differently because they had gone through child neglect and abuse.

Her hands gripped the handle of Nick's car on the passenger side and she climbed in, still into her thoughts.

"You okay?" The Cuban's voice startles her but she nods her head yes anyway. Their eyes meet as they sat in the car. "You sure?"

The brunette put on a smile. "Yeah." But their eyes didn't move. Right when she was going to turn away, Nick moved forward.

Did things always go south for Kate?

His lips touched hers and instead of pulling away like the grey-eyed woman wanted, she stayed there. Excepting his kiss. It was sweet and gentle.

"I had to do that. At least once." Nick smiled at Kate and Kate, not listening to her brain smiled back.

He started the engine and they began to drive as if what just happened didn't. When did Nick suddenly become attracted to her? When did she even show any signs of attraction to him? God, why did her life have to be so confusing now-a-days.

First, releasing the WW3 of her life to Amanda and now, the man driving, kissing her. Not to lie, she adored that kiss. She wanted to kick or punch something it was so frustrating.

"Are you coming back to the station?" Nick asks looking over to Kate as she started out the window.

The brunette didn't hear Nick. She was too busy thinking about the fact she Amanda knew. She was too busy thinking about the fact Nick had kissed her. She was too busy thinking about her father.

The blonde knew now. Amanda knew since they locked eyes in the car. Everything you see in child abuse victims you saw in the Asian. But Katelynn didn't want to be seen as that. She wanted to be seen as normal. Just another girl. Wait, woman.

"Kate?" Nick shook the brunettes shoulder with his free hand. Kate came out her thoughts and looked to Nick.

"I'm sorry, what?" She asked.

"I asked, are you coming back to the station?" Nick repeats.

"Can't for a week. Doctor's orders. Katelynn put on a dim smile and looked at her palms.

He gave up any chance at conversation and they rode the rest of the way to her apartment in silence.

The grey-eyed woman climbed out the vehicle. "Nick, you don't have to-"

"I want to." He responded helping her up the stairs of her apartment building.

The grey and red building was dimly lit on the inside. A huge mahogany door was opened by Nick to help his co-worker inside.

"I am surprised to live here." Nick said as they both walked towards the elevators.

"What is that supposed mean?" Kate raises her eyebrows to him. Half joking.

"I suspected Chinatown." He laughs as Kate elbows him in the rib, playfully.

"What? Does Chelsea not fit YOUR needs?" Katelynn laughs as she presses 7 on the elevator. Nick leans back on the wall of the elevator smiling.

"Nope. Not one bit." The brown-eyed detective smiled again at her.

It seemed like the elevator ride took a year and a day. Maybe it was because Katelynn was thinking too much. If Nick was planning on having some type of relationship with her, she wouldn't agree. She would deny on the spot. She didn't see herself in that type of area with him. No way in hell. They were co-workers. Plus, the brunette had no specific attraction to him.

Kate was saved by the elevator bell from anymore thoughts. Nick once again helped her walk, especially with her side still a little sore. She pulled her key out her bag in front of apartment number 45c. Nick stood quietly behind her with his hands in his pockets.

The Asian quickly got the door to her apartment open with plans on going inside and heading straight to bed.

"Thanks Nick." She says with a smile as she stood in the doorway.

"No problem." Nick walks off quietly as she shuts the door to her apartment.

* * *

It was loud. Ferociously loud. It startled her at first, causing her to nearly have a heart attack in her sleep. Someone was banging on the door.

Looking over to her black wooden night stand with her hand for her phone. When her hands gripped the cold metal of her iPhone, she sighed. The clock read 3:00 am.

Katelynn moved carefully not to damage her side any more than it was, she sat up and her feet searched for her flats on the ground.

_Wait, it is 3 in the morning._ The grey-eyed woman reminded herself as she grabbed her gun out its safe. Kate walked out her bedroom and into her hallway. She unlocked her door with her left hand holding her gun in her right.

"Woah, woah, woah. What is with the gun?" Olivia asked looking back and forth between the item and Kate.

"No one comes to someone's house at 3 am." Kate replied rubbing her eyelids and sitting the gun down on her door side table.

"Captain wanted me to come and see if you were up for a case today. We got a call. Everyone tried to call you. You never answered." The senior detective leans against the door frame.

"Sure. Um, come in." Kate steps into her apartment and leaves the door open so her co-worker can follow suite. "Give me 10 minutes and I'll be ready."

Olivia Benson was shocked. Kate's apartment was edgy and elegant all in one. The back wall where her kitchen and living room were held brick walls while the rest of the apartment's walls were painted dark blue. There were two couch's set at a right angle on top of a grey rug next to her kitchen. Sliding doors lead out to a small balcony. Olivia guessed from where she was standing it was a 3 by 7. Painting and different types of flowers were set in all the right places. A circular white light hung over the kitchen, another over her living room, one more in her hallway and then one above Olivia's head.

Katelynn went in the direction of a long hallway towards the bathroom. Closing the door quietly. She turned on her faucet and splashed water on her face. It was like the water woke her up. Following the same procedure she does every day, the Asian brushed her teeth, took a quick shower and exited the bathroom from the door connected to her bedroom.

As Kate got dressed, she remembered what happened in the elevator the following day. Nick had kissed her. All the questions came back into her mind as she pondered over why. Well, obviously he had been attracted to her. But why did he say he had to that at least once? Could things get any more complicated?

The brunette would have spent more time just thinking about but then she remembered Olivia standing in her living room. So she exited her bedroom in dark brown pants, a crème colored flowing long-sleeved shirt and a brown leather jacket with brown heeled boots.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked. Katelynn unlocked her apartment door as she grabbed a messenger bag filled with her laptop and a few case files.

"Why do you ask?"

"You look different."

The women walked out of her apartment and entered one of the many elevators as Kate laughed a little. "Is that a good or bad thing?"

"Bad. You look like something happened. Did something happen?" Olivia wasn't going to stop asking questions because she was really worried. Katelynn's mind seemed somewhere else.

"Rirakkusu. Relax, Olivia."

It seemed as if Katelynn didn't want to talk about whatever was going on so Olivia dropped it.

"Benson." Olivia said once her cellphone had started to ring. "Sure Captain." And she hung up. "Captain says vic fled the hospital and we can just come to the station." She explained.

"Okay, then." The Asian put on a small smile and looked out the window.

* * *

An hour later, they were all waiting for a case, a report, anything. It was a very slow day.

"Katelynn Romanov Asuni?" A loud voice startled her from her paperwork. Kate looked up quickly to the two men in suits. Romanov was her mother last name and rarely ever used it. The men were dressed in sharp black suits and the one who was closest to her had a shiny bald head and olive skin.

"Yes. How may I help you?" She put down her pencil as the rest of the squad turned their attention to her.

"Stand up please." The man continued.

"What is this about?"

"Ma'am please stand up."

She sighed, but obeyed. The man stepped behind her and then she felt the cold metal on her wrists. One of the men stood to her right, gripping her right wrist, the other the left.

"Katelynn Romanov Asuni, you are under arrest for prostitution, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law, you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?" The man asked.

"Woah, woah, woah. Katelynn what is going on?" Amanda asked jumping off her seat on Fin's desk and next to Katelynn. "Prostitution?"

"I have no idea. I am just as shocked as you." The men walk Katelynn out the precinct and Katelynn's mind buzzes.

**Wasn't expecting that was. Thanks to the reviewer. I love reviews.**


	5. Her Life Her Kiss

Guest: I will definitely keep writing. Thanks a lot for the review!

"Do you know this man?" The man who arrested Kate, Detective Ranson, slides a manila folder towards her from across the metal desk. Inside, was a picture of a young man with short black hair. His eyelids were closed and Katelynn was smart enough, and that good at her job that she could make out the metal table underneath that meant he was in the morgue. But she didn't recognize him.

"No. I don't." The brunette answered pushing the folder back to him.

Detective Ranson pulls out two more folders, both having a picture of another man inside and slide those over to her. The men inside just looked similar to her and she answered the same.

"The how do you explain prostitution charges against you by these men 20 years ago and again last week?" The blonde detective looks at her intently. The Asian starts to fiddle with her fingers at the anxiety. She knew at least one or two members of her squad were standing on the other side of the one-way glass, listening.

Katelynn almost laughed it was so absurd. Those charges were years ago when she was 13. She was 33 now. When Kate was 13, no big shocker to her, she was living in a group home with nearly 10 other children after she was taken from her father's house 2 years before.

The grey-eyed woman was so deep into thought she didn't even know her nails were digging into her arm with extreme pressure until Ranson called her name.

"You want me to go back 20 years into my life? That's not a cold case, that's frigid. Those 'charges' were dropped."

"Yeah well, charges against you by all three of these men last week, that's just a coincidence?"

"Sure."

"You had sex with those men and asked for a payment. When they didn't, you shot bullets to their heads!" Detective Ranson was standing now, and yelling.

"You're delusional. I was in a hospital last week. Not somewhere in Brooklyn." His yelling sounded a lot like her father and Kate just wanted him to shut up.

"It was your service weapon. There was a fingerprint on the doors. How much you want to bet it's yours?" Ranson got close up on her face.

"Everything I have. Because it isn't. I was in a hospital. Go ahead and check. Matter of fact, check with my whole squad. I had to get surgery on my rib cage from a car collision. And your breath is probably the most disgusting thing I have ever smelled, may you please back away?"

With that, the blonde leaves the room, leaving the detective to her thoughts. As soon as he leaves, Amanda and Fin walk in.

They had been standing outside the whole time. They hear every detail, and guessed more than they should have. Especially Amanda knowing what Katelynn dealt with as a child.

"Hey Kate." But the Asian couldn't register. She was tapping her legs on the floor fast as she held her hand over her mouth looking out the small bar window. "Kate?" The female blonde repeats.

"Hi." Katelynn responds so quiet it was almost a whisper.

"You wanna explain these prostitution charges?" Fin speaks without thinking and automatically regrets it because of Katelynn's face. Amanda gives him a stern look.

"You want me to explain? Sure, I'll explain. My father was an alcoholic an when I was 13 Child and Family services took me away from him and I probably lived in one the poorest orphanages in Wisconsin. I made a terrible mistake of going to this stupid party with my friend and I was drugged, or something like that but when I wake up, I am being arrested for prostitution. That was 20 years ago. The charges were dropped but it didn't matter.20 years later, I still don't remember what happened that night. There. Explained." The Asian spoke fast and quietly. She was irritated at the fact that she was being seen as that low to do prostitution.

"Kate, I am sorry—"Fin is cut off.

"Sorry? Do you know how many times I have heard someone tell me they were sorry? Either for me or doing something to me. Either way it doesn't mean anything. It never did and it never will."

"Detective Romanov, you are free to go." Detective Ranson steps back in the interrogation room quickly and gives a look at the detective before stepping back out.

30 Minutes Later. 1-6 Precinct.

Katelynn hugged herself into her light grey beanie and grey pea-coat. As much as she was used to coldness, she felt internally cold. Like there was something else inside her that made her wicked and evil.

11:30 PM Squad Room

"Kate, can I speak to you, in my office?" Cragen's words were the first she heard when she arrived back at the precinct.

The Asian didn't want to talk. She wanted to get her things she left after her 'arrest' and leave. Not have an intervention with her boss. But, Kate just sighs took her coat off, slung it on the back of her chair and walked in his office.

Olivia's face was the first she saw, then her captain's. "What's going on?" Katelynn asked, she tried to put on a smile that signaled she was okay, but failure is all she reached.

"Katelynn, care to explain yourself?" Cragen didn't mean to sound harsh, but after months of working with her, he knew he had to be straight to the point.

She looked to Olivia, then back to him. "She really needs to be here?"

"Yes, she does. Explain why IAB was here a few minutes ago? Explain why they have prostitution and murder charges on your back and the whole squad is being investigated?" The older man's voice rose. He needed to get the bottom of this before it got even worse.

The grey-eyed detective would have given Cragen the same answer she gave Fin earlier, but she knew this was serious. "You don't want an answer. Trust me."

"Kate, if something happened, you have to let us know." Olivia spoke silently.

"It is a really long story."

"We have time."

"I wasn't meant to be born. I was pure mistake. A burden to my parents. So much that my mother left my father and me. They weren't exactly parent material anyway. My father turned to alcohol as some type of release from the fact he was stuck with me. He was persistent in getting my mother back. Russia, then Canada and he stopped at Wisconsin. But, the abuse doesn't become a real burden until you cause your own mothers death. I ran away at 13. I couldn't take it anymore. I lived with a friend and her parents. One day, I went with her to this party I didn't want to go to. That is all I remember. Next thing I know, I am charged with prostitution. Hope that is enough of my life. Enough explanation." Katelynn did her hardest not to cry at the memories. But her distant stare gave Olivia the confidence to tell her it was okay.

But Olivia and Cragen were dumb-founded. They never knew this side of Katelynn.

Katelynn runs her hands through her hair and let it hang over her face as she sat next to Olivia in one of the leather chairs in her boss' office.

"Katelynn, were you raped?" It took Olivia quite some time to work up the nerve to ask this question. But it needed to be done.

The Asian strains out a laugh and look Olivia straight in the eye. "That's the funny thing. 20 years later, I still don't remember that night. And if I was, it doesn't matter now."

"I'll sort this out with IAB in the morning. You two, head home." Cragen says. It was nearly midnight and all Kate wanted to do was to sleep.

Both the women stand and exit his office. Olivia's phone rang; she put her coat on quickly and left the squad room talking on her phone. The only people left were, Amanda and Katelynn.

"Katelynn, wait." The blonde called out as she saw Katelynn throw on her coat and hat and put ear buds in her ear. When the Asian didn't respond, Amanda tapped her shoulder. Kate couldn't help her hands going automatically to her holster.

"Oh sorry, what's up?" Kate answered.

"How are you getting home?" They continued to walk towards the elevators.

"Subways are made for people like me."

"You can't be taking a subway at this time of night. I'll drive you."

"It's okay Amanda. I can protect myself just fine."

"I know you can. But just to be safe."

The brunette gave in and followed the blonde to her pickup truck. "You know, last time I was in a car with you, you almost got me killed." Kate laughs.

"That was one time. Never again." Amanda laughs back starting the engine. They drive in complete silence. Not even a cough or sneeze. Just silence.

The only thing both of them registered was the engine going off and Amanda parking in front of Katelynn's building.

"Here we are." The Georgian announces.

Kate turns to her. "You didn't have to drive me."

"I know. I wanted to."

They stay like that. Their eyes locked with each other and nobody thought of moving.

"You don't have to keep everything bottled up inside, Kate." Amanda declares.

"I'm not. At least I'm not trying to." Kate answers.

Amanda couldn't stop herself from moving even closer to Katelynn over the armrest. Kate didn't move back. She knew it would be a regret and mistake later, but she moved forward too.

Their lips made contact. But this was different than Nick in Kate's mind. Maybe it was different because she wanted it. She needed to face the fact that she did want Amanda. No more lying to herself anymore. Especially with the blonde lips on full swing with hers.


	6. Snow Storm

**There is more dialogue in this chapter. Funny stuff and heart breaks. At least in the beginning. But, it was hard to write that dudes POV as he stalked Kate…. Enjoy. Reviews motivate me. See how after that guest review I write this the next day? This is why I need reviews. **

Two Weeks Later.

"Casey! I am going to slaughter you!" Katelynn yelled as the red-headed ADA walked into the squad room. This threat was met with Olivia and Nick's snicker as they sat especially close to each other at Olivia's desk.

"Oh lord. What did I do now?" Casey sighs dramatically. The Asian's heeled boots walked over to Casey. Dressed in dark brown pants, a matching blazer and a crème colored shirt she stood in front of the responsible attorney.

"I am never, ever, ever babysitting you and Alex's demonic children again." She declares.

"What? Come on. Becca and Jason couldn't have been that bad." The red head pleads.

"That bad? Those things are the freaking spawn of hell!" This time, Olivia and Nick couldn't hold their childish laughter anymore as they whisper and laugh hysterically to each other about the subject of the ADA's children.

Kate sends a death glare to the two immature detectives and they immediately shut up as Casey continues to talk. "They are 6 and 7 years old. You're being dramatic."

"What did they try to do Katy? Rape you?" Nick asks bursting into laughter with Olivia.

"They are evil and never again will I watch them for you again." Katelynn's attention turns to Amanda with the blonde walks in.

It was that first kiss two weeks ago that sparked their now intimate relationship. Time from time, Katelynn found herself with Amanda more than usual. They didn't want to rush things and they took it slow. Very slow. The only problem they were having was telling everyone.

"Damn, the snow out there is horrible." The Southern woman states shaking snow off her slender frame.

"How deep?" Fin questions exiting the restroom.

"At the most, maybe 3 and half inches. " She answers quickly.

But another voice enters the conversation as Cragen steps into the area of detectives. "Well, I have good news and bad news."

"What's the bad news?" The Asian brunette question throwing at look towards Cragen.

"They closed all the roads. It's a full swing blizzard out there."

"And the good news?"

"We have each other as company."

"Should've stayed at home…." Melinda's voice turns the whole rooms' attention towards the door way of the squad room.

"Why…" Katelynn thuds her head on the desk dramatically.

"Sorry if I wrecked the mood of the party, but I got results on that dancer rape."

"Melinda, I didn't mean you, I meant New York."

"You act like Russia is all sunshine and daises." Olivia scoffs.

"No. But when it snowed, no one closed the roads and had people stay inside for their dear lives." The Asian runs a shaky finger through her silky brown hair.

"Where did Cragen go?" Nick asks looking around. His office door was wide open and empty.

"Captain abandoning his ship. Damn shame." Fin laughs.

"That leaves, Fin, Olivia, Nick, Amanda, Kate, Melinda and I. What could possibly go wrong?" Casey states sarcastically.

"The fact we are out of coffee…" Katelynn stood next to the coffee maker with a blank expression.

"Are you okay Kate?" The Cuban detective looked to his co-worker with worried eyes.

"Besides the dangerous fact we don't have any coffee, I am quite sane. I am going to get more." The Asian grabs her coat and hat off the hanger and begins to put it on.

"Kate, there is no way you can go out in that storm." Fin stops her.

"Listen, I have been in far worse weather conditions and the bodega is right across the street. I can handle myself."

"Kate—"Fin begins

"Look, just let the Ice Queen have what the Ice Queen wants okay? She can turn you to stone with her eyes." Nick jokes, earning a middle finger from Kate as she walks out the precinct. The whole squad erupts in laughter.

"Wait, I thought Alex was the Ice Queen?" Casey questions in between breathless laughs.

"Well, we have two on our hands."

* * *

He took a total of 7 shots of her as she walked out the precinct. Silky brown hair and stunning grey eyes captured her face. Those features would look perfect on a white. But she wasn't. She was filth. God gave him the power and job to seek out helpless, souls that are a danger to America. America was for the whites. Not for a whole filter of Arabs, Indians, and Asian to come and take control. And don't even get him started on those disgusting Africans. They didn't belong in his country. So God gave him the mission to rid of these trashy souls. Make them beg and plead to let him go or kill them. But she was different. She was a cop. She ruled the streets under her wrath to make it the way she wanted, no whites.

He watched she took her long slender legs across the street and into a coffee bodega. Today he would make his move. He had been 'watching' her for days now. She was the perfect example. He knew everything about her or so he thought.

* * *

Katelynn was warmed by the bodega and quickly made an order of 6 cups of coffee. She was surprised however by the amount of people on the streets of New York. More than the amount of people you would see during the beginning of a blizzard. Especially with all the ice over the ground.

"Thank you." The brunette said to the cashier as she grabbed the coffee she ordered. She stepped quickly once again out the bodega, only to hear a voice.

"Ma'am! Excuse me ma'am?" The man's voice didn't sound familiar so she took extra special caution towards him.

"Yes. How may I help you?" She scanned him quickly. He was wearing jeans and a leather jacket tight around him with a camera hanging from his neck.

It happened to quickly for the younger woman to understand was happening. He had pushed her back into an alley, causing her to drop the coffee. Kate's hands went immediately to her gun when she saw the black van. Her back to it, she aimed at the man. The streets were somehow magically deserted now and she saw herself somewhat helpless.

"Calm down ma'am. We just want to help you." The man raises his hands in defense as two other men come from out the back of the van and pull her inside. Katelynn hits her head on the side of the alley, causing her vision to slowly fade

* * *

"Where is she? She should be back by now." Yes, the blonde was worrying. But she couldn't tell her also worrying partners why she was especially worried.

"Why don't you try calling her?" Olivia says looking to Amanda.

"I already did. See?" Amanda attempts to call Katelynn again, but this time she answers.

"Katelynn?" The Southern woman's heart lifts, but quickly drops when she hearing a round of screams, obviously belonging to the Asian.

"_We are trying to save you, Katelynn. You must repent for your sins._" The man voice was thick and startled the whole squad. _"Get off of me!" _ Static sounds from the phone tells everyone either she was sitting on the phone, or it was broken somewhere far away. The call ends and every heart in the squad break for Katelynn. Amanda's heart was already shattered when she didn't come back.

But now, Amanda felt her heart break into a thousand pieces she couldn't pick up. And it was going to stay that way until she got her girlfriend back.


	7. Searching For Her

**OMG I was so pleased with all the reviews I got. Here is another chapter! Re-Read Arrested for Prostitution if you have to. **

**Guest: That means a lot to me. Hope you keep reading and loving.**

**DLN: Lol. I wasn't sure about it at first but then I got this other cliffhanger idea in my head and then I was like oh they gonna love this…Don't worry, no character death anytime soon.**

**Sam: Thanks for the love. Oh don't worry. There is gonna be a whole lot of Kate and Amanda drama. **

* * *

"Amanda, why are freaking out over this?" Olivia asked as Amanda nearly lost her mind of her co-worker. _Girlfriend_. She corrected herself. She wasn't used to the title with Kate. But she did love using it.

The blonde did several deep breathes in before her friends and co-workers curious eyes as they watched her remain silent. If she was going to tell them, now seemed like a better time than ever. Amanda took a seat in front of them near her desk.

"Well, there are two reasons. One of them is that Kate and I are…sort of dating—"She couldn't get to the second reason because Fin took an abrupt turn out the squad room and into the cribs carefully closing the door behind him to raise any suspicion. "What is wrong with him?"

The senior detective in front of Amanda started laughing softly. "You thought we didn't know already?"

Amanda's cheeks turned a bright red color. "Yeah. Kinda."

"Two weeks ago Kate came in here with a look on her face like no other. You too, Amanda. We all had a little talk about the 'situation' when you two went to lunch and we put two and two together. Literally." Olivia explains.

"Hey don't put me out there like that. We all know about you and Nick. "

The two detectives in question start blushing leaving an awkward silence over them. "Just say the second reason already?" Nick said, still blushing.

"I am scared it might be her father."

"What?" Nick, Olivia, Casey and Melinda say unison.

"Don't tell her I told you guys. She has a hard enough time dealing with it already."

They nod in agreement. So Amanda explained. No one said anything after that. Just sat in silence. But this new silence just consumed Amanda. Her thoughts wandered to her girlfriend.

"I'll call IAB." The new voice says. Everyone turns around to see their captain. "But we can't do anything today. Try and get some sleep."

* * *

**Unknown Location 2:45 AM**

Her head throbbed. Painfully. Not a migraine. This was much worse. She felt around for her lamp. Trying not to reach to her left because she thought Amanda was here from the sounds. Wait reality check. She felt sand. Not the softness of her floral printed sheets, but sand.

It took a whole lot of energy to open her eyes but after quite some time, Katelynn found the strength.

"I think she is awake." A voice said. On instinct, her hands went to her hip from her holster but when she found the holster empty, she panicked. Pain slowly subdued from the Asian's head, but it was still there. Blurry vision cleared and she was able to see the figure in front of her.

He was Middle Eastern. She knew it off hand. His hair curly and dark colored skin. He was probably around 5'3. _Where am I? _

The heat of the area almost made her puke. Kate wanted to scream, but her throat was sorely dry. Her legs found a way to move herself as she tried to kick the man in front of her.

"Woah, woah. There is no one trying to hurt you. At least not yet." He explained.

"W-What do you mean by that?"

"Do you know where you are?"

"No. Where am I?"

"Hell. Welcome to the club."

* * *

**Squad Room 6:57 AM**

"Well we all suspect her father for this. Anyone know his name?" Cragen asked as he looked to her sleepless detectives. The aged man knew no one was going to sleep knowing one of New York's finest was out there in danger. Hell, he was worried too.

"Bae Asuni. Hasn't been seen or heard for 2 years. Most likely dead." Nick answered putting a picture of Kate's father on the board. He looked a lot like Kate. Only by facial structure. The eye, lips and hair color were much different. Bae had Black hair and brown eyes.

"And the mother?" Cragen continues.

"Valentina Romanov. A last known address is in Virginia. Something odd came up though." The Cuban detective pins a picture of Valentina on the board. Everything that didn't match with Bae, matched to Valentina. Hair, Lips and eyes. Like mother like daughter.

"What?" The blonde questions. It was the second time she spoke since they arrived. The first was a brief and silent hello to Olivia.

"Her name is on a birth certificate for a Katrina Romanov Asuni. Not Katelynn, same birthdate as Kate's though. Also her name is also on a birth certificate for a Katalina Romanov. Both girls have the same birthdate but different father signature." Nick stops talking to allow his co-workers to sink this new information in.

"Well, Rollins, Amaro. I will speak with IAB and see if we can get you two to Martinsville." Cragen announces before walking back in his office.

* * *

**Unknown Location 7:30 AM**

"What is your name?" The same man from earlier asked her. She had been sitting in a cell with him for nearly 3 hours and they hadn't spoken since. Hopefully she was still in the states. If she wasn't, it would just be harder to get out.

"You first." Katelynn plucked at the sand beneath her

"Okay. My name is Muhammad. Doctor. Your turn."

"Katelynn. NYPD Detective."

"Oh we are a long way from New York. " Muhammad laughed as he trained his eyes on the ceiling.

"What? Where do you think we are?"

"Somewhere extremely hot. Texas, California, Utah, Nevada, Florida, New Mexico, Arizona. Or we could be out of the states. Mexico, South America, Central America, India."

"What the hell makes you think that?"

The Middle Eastern man stands up and walks over to a small peep-hole window with bars across it Kate didn't notice. "See that? Desert. Desert. Desert. Buildings at least 100 miles away and more desert."

The brunette's mind does a thousand things at once. "They are extremists. They are racists. They are ignorant, but brutal." Muhammad explains.

A door to the cell opens and a man with slick black hair and long jeans comes inside. He stands there, and holds the door open. Two other men dressed the same as the man holding the door comes inside. The both grab one of Katelynn's arms. Went she tries to fight back. They make their grip much tighter and she gives up.

They lead her through hallways and corridors. Sand was everywhere. They drag her into a room with another man sitting a table. Kate remembered the man as the one who pushed her into the alley and tried to strangle her.

* * *

**Martinsville, Virginia 5:10 PM**

Amanda knocked on a large tan wooden door. Virginia wasn't as cold as New York but it was still chilly. Both Nick and Amanda stood in a group of town houses, wanting for someone, hopefully Valentina Romanov to answer the door.

But instead they got a young woman. Nick thought he was crazy when he saw she looked exactly like Katelynn. Although the woman in front him had shoulder length hair, Kate's hair was halfway down her back.

"How may I help you?" The woman asked. _She speaks just like Kate too._

"We are looking for a Valentina Romanov." Amanda answered flashing her badge. A voice in the background asked who was at the door. The young woman stepped back and let the detectives in.

"Mama. There are police here to speak with you."

The house they stepped into was decorated with white and red furniture and decorations.

An elderly woman, around 60, came down the stairs in tan colored sweats.

"How may I help you two?" The Russian accent was not mistakable this was Valentina.

"Mrs. Romanov, we are here to speak with you on behalf of your daughter, Katelynn." Amaro answered.

"I am sorry. You must have me confused with someone else. I only have one daughter, Katrina." Mrs. Romanov walks over to the young woman who let them in.

"Well, we have records of you having a daughter named Katalina and a daughter named Katrina. Now both girls have the birthdate of January 4 1977. But both girls have different fathers on the birth certificate, but your name on both signatures. Care to explain that?" Nick continues.

"Kata, go upstairs, please."

Katrina obeys her mother and walks up the tan stairs. "What did she do this time?" Valentina asks.

"What do you mean, this time?" Amanda questions.

"Police have been here before asking about the little brat. I have no idea where she or her father is and I don't want to."

"Your daughter has been kidnapped and possibly killed and you don't give a damn do you?" The blonde was pissed. This woman didn't deserve to mother Kate.

"That bitch wrecked my marriage. Sorry if I am not sobbing about it."

"Who is Katalina?" Nick asks stepping in front of Amanda to cool her down.

"She 'Americanized' her name to Katelynn. Why are you two even asking me about this?"

"We have reason to believe you or her father, Bae Asuni may be involved in her kidnapping." Amaro answers.

* * *

**Okay, voting time. Do you think I should have Katelynn's father re-enter her life or should I keep him out of her life? Or if you have further ideas, PM me. Loved all the reviews I got. **


	8. Videos and Torture

**Apartment of Amanda Rollins 8:12 am **

* * *

"_Are you sure you want to do this?" Katelynn asked as she straddled the blonde. Instead of answering, the blonde I question flipped her body over, causing her to straddle Kate. The only items of clothing the women were missing were their shirts. And Amanda took the time to memorize every aspect of Kate's black lace bra and toned stomach. Katelynn was strong. The Southern could see the small outline of abs coming on. God, she was beautiful._

_Blonde strand of hair hanging from her face, she answered. "I could never make a mistake with you. You're perfect."_

_The Asian's heart felt like it had actually stopped at the Southern Belle's charm. Amanda leaned down and kissed her, using her tongue to seek entrance. Kate didn't object. They both wanted this._

Amanda shot up. Breathes heavy. _It was just a dream. A nightmare._ The dangerous memory of Katelynn.

* * *

**Squad Room 10:34 am**

* * *

"As much as I hate to say it, a body has been discovered in the Hudson. Brown hair, grey eyes, Asian face. Vaginal tearing discovered also. They need someone to make an I.D." Cragen announced to his squad after receiving the phone call telling him such news.

_It's not her. It's not her._ Amanda told herself as she drove the sedan with Olivia.

"Amanda, it's not her." The brunette tried to reassure her friend, but after watching Amanda silently talk to herself, she failed.

Whitened knuckles grasped the steering wheel as the detective pulled into a parking lot next to the bay. The blonde and brunette took no time to frantically rush out the car and on the bay where CSU and their very own Melinda Warren waited.

"Ready?" The African-American women asked as she held the black plastic sheet that covered the woman beneath. All three women held their breathes. _It can't be her. She would be strong. She would fight. _

"It's not her." Amanda said quietly, barely a whisper. The woman beneath had a thick jaw line and a heart shaped face. This wasn't Kate. A tear of joy escaped Amanda at the realization.

"Thank god. But when you do find the son of bitch, he better get a needle."

Olivia's phone rings and she quickly answers. She says nothing to the other person on the line except, Benson, No, Okay and then lastly, Goodbye.

"Cragen says Taru has got something for us."

* * *

**Unknown Location 10:50 am**

* * *

One man had a firm gripped on her wrists behind her back. Earlier, they had given her a prison orange jumpsuit to wear. They took her shoes, so now she was barefoot. Sand between her toes and hair slung over her shoulder, she took another blow to the stomach.

It could've hurt more, but because she took a prone habit to staying fit, her muscles were strong.

"You know, kidnapping and assaulting a police officer is against the law." Her sarcasm was there for a reason. To annoy the man extensively beating the crap out of her. It had been going on for nearly 3 hours now.

But instead of a vocal response, she got a huge boot to her chin, causing the anonymous man with the grip on her wrist to let go, also causing her to land on her back against the sand. "No one will miss an immigrant terrorist like you. You are dirt. Filth, trash, a waste of everyone's time."

"You people really need to do your research. Katelynn Asuni. 36. Detective. And wait for it LEGAL. You're a bunch as racist fuck overs that have nothing better to do with your sadistic lives then spend time hurting and killing other people who have a life. "She spat it out fast and with anger as she held her bleeding chin. For the nearly whole day she had been here she had tried to think of anything but this place.

"Looks like this one don't learn to good." The man who held her wrist said, chuckling. Even from where she was sitting, she could tell they were sharing sadistic smiles. They drag her out the room and into another. From what Kate could tell, it was a chair, a sink, a desk with a recorder on it and the three of them.

What scared her was one of the men pulling out a tri-pod and a camera. She took the time to memorize their faces. The man hooking up the camera, the one who had beaten her to a pulp earlier, had shiny blonde hair and pasty skin. The other man had light brown hair and a shaved beard outline.

"Let's see if that squad of yours likes to see their precious detective cry." The blonde man said smiling. He moved over to a small closet door on the back wall while the brunette strapped her into the metal chair. The blonde rolled out a cart with possibly thousands of wires and buttons on top.

They strapped Katelynn's already raw wrists to the arms of the chair, and her ankles to the legs. The brunette hooked wires to her arms and forehead. She tried to move and fight back, but it did nothing. The ropes were too tight.

"Okay. Let's see if little Kate likes electricity." The blonde looked back and for between his partner and Kate. She wouldn't cry. _I can't cry._

* * *

**Squad Room 12:54 PM **

* * *

"I tracked Kate's iPhone. The last known time stamp of it was at 1:15 am, December 10. Which was about two days ago. In Miami." Taru explains to the squad.

Right then, Amanda walks in to see a package on her desk. Addressed to the precinct, signed anonymous. She opened the yellow envelope. The blonde automatically saw two DVD's and another smaller envelope. Amanda decided to look at one of DVD's first. Suspicion raised the squad as Amanda walked over the large TV screen around the corner and put the disk in. Olivia, Nick, Cragen, Fin and Amanda, plus Casey, Alex, and Rafael joined upon entering.

At first it was blank. But then, they saw her. Dressed in an orange jumpsuit and barefoot. Hair cut shorter, now shoulder length. Arms bound behind her back of the chair. Eyes sleepy. They saw Katelynn.

Everyone was shocked. A couple people gasped. There were wires hooked into her arms and forehead.

* * *

"_Tell us who she is!" A voice screamed. Katelynn's eyes were tired._

"_No."_

_The screen went black. Static and an electric sound went over the room._

Amanda's ears clenched at the sound of Katelynn scream.

"_Tell us who your girlfriend is!"_

* * *

Another no and the same thing happened. It happened around 7 more times before they released her from that metal chair. She didn't say Amanda. She didn't say anything. They kicked her in the stomach and The squad was basically forced to watch.

"Oh my god." Olivia stared at the photos from the smaller white envelope Amanda had neglected. They couldn't count how many there were. Photos of Katelynn covered in blood and bruises. The ones that killed the squads heart was the ones where her clothes were basically tossed across the room.

"I can't even imagine the hell she is going through…" Fin states.


	9. Found After 12

**12 Days Later Squad Room 11:23 am**

* * *

"Captain, this is the place. Thousands of men and woman, missing. Tracked to Florida. Disappeared of the grid." The blonde said throwing photos of men and women, all different races. None white.

Amanda and the rest of the squad had been searching for those 12 days their detective had been missing. They had had their large share of leads found and dropped. But this one, this is one was staying. She knew Katelynn wouldn't cry. No one had seen Kate cry before and Amanda knew that Kate's heart was too strong to cry. But she was close to breaking, they all knew that.

"Guess what, just found Kate's father. Residing in Hoboken the whole time." Olivia walked into the squad room.

"Good, Amanda, Liv, go question him."

* * *

**Unknown Location 11:30 am**

* * *

She was broken. 12 Days here had done that. But she still hadn't cried. Kate learned at an old age, crying got you know where. All it did was give fuel to her father's beatings. She didn't know the effect of tears to them, but she was not weak.

They had forcefully cut her hair. Their exact words when it happened were: _If you want to be a dyke, you'll look like one. _

It was now shoulder-length and matted in a few spots from dried blood. The last time she cut her hair was maybe a year or two ago. It didn't seem to be a problem or an issue to the Asian. They called Kate a terrorist. But the worst kind of torture was putting headphones in her ears and making her listen to parts of the Bible. She knew the squad was looking. She knew they were close.

Sleep-deprivation caused her to fall asleep at random moments, rather than at night.

_I am strong. I will get through this. I will live. I will not cry._

* * *

**Apartment Building of Bae Asuni Hoboken 11:43 am**

* * *

"How may I help you?" Bae asked.

"We are here to ask you about your daughter Katelynn." Amaro answered. Bae wore loose fitting jeans and a wife-beater. The smell of alcohol attacked Amanda's nose and left her blinking, vigorously.

"She called me yesterday."

The detectives exchange a look before turning back to him. "Did she say anything to you?" The blonde asked.

"I didn't answer in time. She left a message. I didn't listen to it yet." He shrugged like it was nothing.

"We need to here that message."

Bae motion for them to follow him into his apartment and that did nothing for the smell attacking their noses. The apartment was filthy like it hadn't been cleaned it weeks. Kate's father was old, but looked like the type of old gentlemen.

He hands the detectives his cellphone, playing the message.

* * *

"_You're a sadistic racist." The voice was recognized as Katelynn's. No vocal response, just a loud slap, or maybe it was a punch. "Did I make you angry?"_

"_We could kill you right now and nobody is going to miss you." A man's voice boomed._

"_Go ahead. Kill me. I fucking dare you. I could name around 20 people that would want to stick the needle in you if you did that." _Amanda knew that sarcasm was Kate's defense mechanism.

"_Not yet. We have more fun to get through."_

_Nothing else was heard except a scream. A loud, ear piercing scream._

* * *

End of call.

* * *

**Squad Room 12:02 pm **

* * *

"The warehouse we located in Miami is owned by a Marcus Preston. He was charged with multiple counts of assault, harassment and one count of rape. We haven't found any way Marcus and Kate could've crossed paths yet." Olivia states pinning a picture of a blonde man on the board.

"I did. Marcus was arrested by her in 2003. Long time ago but, maybe he keep a grudge those 5 years he spent in prison." The Southern Belle answered for the detectives.

"I just got a warrant for a raid on Marcus' warehouse from Casey." Cragen emerged from his office. "I need everyone out there. This isn't just about Kate anymore. As much as I hate to say it, there could be hundreds of lives at stake. Go home, rest, and get ready for your plane to Miami tomorrow morning"

* * *

**Next Day 9:67 am Marcus' Warehouse in Miami**

* * *

She took blows to the stomach and legs. Katelynn dodged one, causing them to throw her to the ground. The blonde, signaled the other 2 men that had giving her the beaten of her life out.

"Looks like you and me are going to have some fun, huh?" Marcus put on a bright pedophile smiles as her walked towards Katelynn's hunched over figure. He threw her shoulder back, making her land on her back as he straddled her.

The brunette tried to move or squirm, but 12 days of only occasionally gets water or food made her lack direction. Plus he had around 90 pounds against him. Marcus took a knife out from behind his belt and cut lines on the thigh part of Kate's 'outfit'.

"Aww, come on. Don't be like that. I thought we were all friends here." Marcus said after watching her stare at him. Next, he began to unbuckle his belt. This is when the adrenaline kicked in. Kate pushed his body off of hers using, adrenaline, leverage and a pure miracle. Put this only resulted in several punches to the face and neck, blurry her vision. Her body felt limp as she fell back to the ground allowing Marcus to straddle her again. Kate couldn't fight back. She couldn't find the energy. She was giving up.

"NYPD! Hands up!" She thought she was imagining it. After all, her vision was still blurry and everything seemed to be in slow motion. Katelynn felt a force pull Marcus off of her. It was like the brunette's eyes focused onto her face. The Southern Face she had kissed. It was Amanda.

She felt strength again and slowly sat up, with the help of the bullet-proof vested woman in front of her.

"Katelynn? Can you hear me?" But words slowed down and broke apart when they reached the grey-eyed woman's ears.

Legs numb, she held a strong grip on Amanda's shoulder for a quick second before taking a look upward to see Amaro pinning Marcus against a wall, both men were looking at her. He broke her.

Slowly, Kate began to walk towards him, Amanda following, wondering if Kate even recognized her. Kate stared him in the eye with a look on her face no one had seen before. But the Asian moved too fast. Katelynn whipped her arm around and grabbed Amanda's gun off the holster. They had broken her. Setting her target, Katelynn Asuni fired.

* * *

**Who did Katelynn shoot? Did she shoot Marcus? Did she shoot Amanda? Or maybe Amaro? Where was Olivia and Fin? Wait, or did she shoot herself?**


	10. Anger and Drama

_I am so glad you updated. I think her father should be out of the picture.: _**I was debating on it. I have like 17 different options and I can only choice 1 xD  
**

_Wow this is getting intense! I'm really looking forward to more! I wonder why they want to know info about Amanda? And Amanda better save her girl!: _**Not to spoil but you better read this chapter!  
**

_Poor Kate. This chapter is hard to read, but written beautiful. I can not wait for more.:_ **Ikr. Thank you!**

* * *

"Katelynn! No!" But Amanda was too late. Katelynn already shot Marcus Preston, twice in the chest. The Asian dropped the gun onto the sand covered floor and slide down the wall to her right. Fin and Olivia ran in at that moment, drawn to the gun shots.

"Katelynn?" Amanda said softly as she walked towards her. Katelynn's arm was shaking as she rocked herself back and forth. Knees pressed to her chest. She held her hand to her mouth in a fist. "Katelynn, it's okay. I promise it is okay." The blonde wrapped her arm around Kate as she sat down next to her trembling girlfriend. Slowly, the brunette relaxed at Amanda's touch as Olivia and Captain starred at her in concern. Amanda kissed the top of her head.

"What the hell took you guys so long?" Kate said. Her voice was different. They all saw that. Everything was different. All they did was smile softly.

Amanda and Katelynn begin to walk out the warehouse.

"T-They were going to kill you. They asked me who you were. A-And I just couldn't tell them." The Asian explained stopping once they reached the outside of the warehouse.

"I know, Kate. I know." Amanda reassured as she pulled Katelynn into a hug.

* * *

**2 Days Later**

* * *

"Can you explain the events that took place 14 days ago?" Lieutenant Tucker asked.

"Um, I walked out the precinct to get coffee from the bodega across the street." Kate said as she fiddled with her sleeves.

"You went by yourself?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't know. No one volunteered to go with."

"Continue."

"I came back out the bodega with the um, coffee in hand when a man with a camera came running up to me. He pushed me into an alley. I was caught off guard. He said that we are just trying to help you. There was an um, black van behind me, two other men pulled me inside from behind."

"Okay." Tucker said, closing his notepad. "That's all we will need from you today."

Katelynn's eyes stayed trained on the desk. Everything that had happened in 12 days was coming back to her.

"Detective Asuni?" Tucker asked, seeing the woman fixated.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Katelynn said quickly before getting up and beginning to walk out the interrogation room.

"Hey, how'd it go?" The blonde asked upon seeing her girlfriend exit the room.

"Fine, I just want to go home." She explained, holding Amanda's hand.

"Sure thing. "

* * *

**30 Minutes Later 12:12 pm**

* * *

"How are you holding up?" Amanda asked after turning off the engine to her truck.

"Physically, fine. Hospitals have their benefits. Emotionally, better than I was two days ago." The brunette answered.

"That's good. You know, you can always talk to me."

Katelynn moved over the armrest and gave Amanda a quick kiss. "You don't say?"

"I'm glad you're feeling better."

"I feel better around you." They smiled at each other before getting out the vehicle.

Katelynn was just glad to be out of the hands of those monsters. She never knew that people could be that ignorant, hateful and that horrid. Sure, she had seen her share of hate crimes, but what happened to her was beyond extreme. But she couldn't forget the person who was helping the most: Amanda.

They reached the hallway of Amanda's apartment to find a certain person she thought she would never see again.

"Kim?" Amanda asked. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well howdy, Manda. Who's this?" Kim said looking behind Amanda's shoulder at Kate.

"Kimberly Rollins. Nice to finally meet you." The brunette smiled innocently as Amanda stared at her confused.

"Wait, you knew about her?"

"I do my research." Katelynn began walking closer to Amanda and Kim, only to walk inside Amanda's apartment. "You two go ahead and 'bond'"

The blonde pulls out her cellphone and begins calling Tucker's number immediately. Kim had wrecked her life twice now; she was not going to mess it up again. And Amanda already knew that her family, and definitely her insane sister would not approve of her sexual orientation. Never mind the fact that it's Kate. Her family only approved of boys. Caucasian. Strictly.

"Who was that?" Kim asked again.

Amanda was _not _going to answer her sister. "Yes, Lieutenant Tucker. My sister, Kim-"

Kim snatched the phone from her sister's hand and threw it on the ground, smashing it to pieces.

"What the hell, Kim?" The detective shouted.

"You wouldn't rat me out, Amanda. Would you?" Kim smiled innocently and began walking into Amanda's apartment. Pissed, Amanda followed her sister.

"Kim, get the hell out!" Amanda shouted. She could hear her shower and she knew Katelynn was in it. Her sister had to leave. Now.

"You ain't actin' too sisterly, Manda. "

"Kim. Leave. Now."

"Why? Don't look like I'm bothering anyone." Her sister still had that innocent look on her face and Amanda wanted to strangle her right then and there. The Georgian noticed Katelynn's iPhone on the kitchen counter and she reached for it so she could call Tucker.

Katelynn stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her skin was paler. Her eyes had fading dark rims around them. Her eyes were cold. She had cuts on her face. She was different.

"Amanda? What is going on out here?" The Asian walked out the bathroom in pajama shorts and a blue striped shirt. Katelynn pushed wet strands out of her face behind her ear.

"Kate, unlock it." Amanda handed the phone to Kate so she could enter her passcode and Amanda would finally be able get her sister out of her life for good. After quickly entering 1781, Katelynn handed the phone back to her girlfriend.

Katelynn knew all the trouble Kim had caused her sister. There was no time and no need for explanation.

"Yes, Lieutenant Tucker. My sister is at my apartment now. Um, yeah." And with that, the Southern Belle hung up her phone and turned her attention back to her sister.

"So, I take it your Kate?" Kim said as she stared at Kate.

"Yeah." The grey-eyed detective crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the back of the wall.

"How long have you known my sister?"

"Almost a year…Why?"

"No reason. I just wanted to know if you knew 'bout Amanda's little gambling problem." Kim smiled too innocently. Amanda knew what she was trying to do. Wreck her life. Like always.

"Um, no." Katelynn cleared her throat. "I didn't know that."

Amanda sent her sister a death glare. A knock at the door told her that Tucker was finally here. Katelynn opened the door and Tucker with two other IAB agents.

"I can't believe you would sell me out, Amanda." Kim stated as Tucker put her in handcuffs.

Once they exit, Amanda turns her attention to Kate. "Look, I didn't tell you because-"

"I really don't want to deal with that, okay? I just want to sleep. Pass few days have been hectic." The blonde didn't get another word in as Kate walked into the bedroom and most likely, went to sleep.

* * *

**Thank you for the reviews! Is Kate mad at Amanda? I bought like 8 episodes of Law and Order:SVU on iTunes (All Amanda-Centered ones xD) and then I personal marathon on my laptop and I got both Friending Emily and Deadly Ambition (The Episodes where Kim shows up) and I was like I gotta bring Kim into something. Hope you liked! Drop a review!**


	11. New Faces and Drunken Calls

Amanda stood in the doorframe of her bedroom, arms across her chest watching Katelynn lay there.

"I know you ain't asleep, Kate." She finally spoke up. The Asian opened her grey eyes before sitting up in the bed propped on one elbow.

"How the hell did you know? I was as silent and as still a rock." Kate questioned, laying back down, her eyes to the ceiling.

"Your face is like 17 more times relaxed when your sleep. " Amanda answered, laughing. The blonde took her shoes off carefully before lying in the bed with her. She faced Katelynn, prepared to be to the point and serious about her next questions.

Noticing Amanda was staring at her, Kate propped herself back up on one elbow again and they both faced each other. "Sleep stalking me detective?" She smiled.

"Kate, I know you're thinking about what Kim told you."

"Listen, I don't give a fuck about what your psychotic sister said. I am just a little irritated you didn't tell me. Plus, I kind of already knew so…"

Amanda chuckled at Kate's description of her sister. "Wait, how did you know?"

"The Gambling Problems sheet on your fridge isn't that hard to miss. It's a little weird to know something everyone else thinks you don't. But I like it."

"Are you sure you're okay? I know a lot happened in that warehouse—"The Southern was cut off by Katelynn giving her such a kiss that said everything that needed to be said: Shut the hell up and stop worrying.

"You done worrying?" Kate asked, releasing the kiss.

"Well if you gonna keep kissing me like that I'm not sure." Amanda crossed her arms over her chest as if in deep thought.

The familiar buzz of Katelynn's phone interrupted from any further actions between the two. The brunette gracefully reached over her girlfriend and picked up her phone.

"Hey, Liv." Katelynn said, lying back on the bed.

"How long have we've been friends?" Olivia answered through slurred speech indicating she was drunk.

"A long time. Olivia Benson, are you drunk?" The Asian put her drunken friend on speaker.

"Mhm. A long ass time! Where's my ring bitch?! You made a fucking commitment!" Liv's speech was still slurred. Amanda tried so hard to hold back laughter, but she couldn't help herself. "How you going to get that blonde ass nigga a ring and not me?! We had sumthing!"

The blonde stopped laughing and looked to Katelynn with question.

"Olivia Marie Benson, I will get you for that!" The brunette hung up the phone and her pale skin did nothing to hide her cherry red blush. Truth be told, Katelynn loved Amanda to death, but Olivia just told a blissful lie.

The TV show Saved by The Bell came to Kate's mind when her cellphone vibrated. Nick's name flashed across the screen.

"Sorry. I let her get too drunk. Captain says The Annual NYPD Awards thing or whatever the hell it is starts at 11 am on Monday. We have to leave Sunday. Both of you have to come. Dresses ladies." Nick quickly stated. You could hear car horns and Olivia still laughing her ass off and ranting.

"It's okay Nick. Thanks for letting us know."

And with that, the phone hung up. Then, Amanda started laughing her ass off.

"What is so funny?" Kate asked staring at Amanda.

"You have to wear a dress!" And the Southern Belle continued to laugh.

"That ain't funny. That's a shame." Katelynn sighed and fixated her eyes back on the ceiling. And suddenly, she felt sick to her stomach. Sure, she had seen and felt her fair share of nausea but this was different. The brunette got up quickly, almost running. But after realizing that just made her dizzy and her stomach worse she slowed down and head for the bathroom.

Amanda instantly filled with worry and confusion when Kate bolted up and head for the bathroom. The blonde followed her only to find her hunched over the toilet, vomiting.

"Oh my god, Kate. Are you okay?" Amanda kneeled down next to her and brushed her hair out her face.

"I have no idea, what just happened." She answered leaning back against the tiled wall of Amanda's bathroom.

"The doctor did say you might experience nausea since your body is getting back on track."

"That's some type of nausea."

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. Amanda, this might be a bad time to break it to you, but I do not own a dress."

All concern left Amanda as she broke out laughing once again at Kate. "Wait, you're serious?" She asked after seeing Katelynn just stares at her.

**Squad Room Next Day Saturday**

"How do you not own a dress?" Fin asked laughing right as Kate walked in the squad room.

"Amanda got a big mouth."

"I can help you find a dress. Or at least rent one. "Olivia states from her seat on Nick's desk.

"Maybe, does anyone wanna tell me why the hell an NYPD Event is in the District of Columbia?" Katelynn asked.

Everyone just shrugged. A young blonde woman walked into the squad room and it seemed as if Fin and Captain recognized her off hand.

"Dani Beck. Welcome back to SVU." Cragen said, going up to shake her hand.

"Good to be back. My captain told me you guys needed another temp." The Danish detective accepted his hand shake as she looked over the squad room. To her it looked like she imagined it. Elliot wasn't there. She knew that. It didn't bother her. Only 4 familiar faces to her were Much, Fin, Cragen and dreadfully Olivia. Dani thought the Asian women next to was a rape victim. She could obviously tell Nick and Amanda were new detectives.

"Yes. We do. Detective's Nick Amaro, Amanda Rollins and Katelynn Asuni, meet Dani Beck." Cragen announced.


	12. Can't Be Pregnant

Olivia's face shifted it a death glare at Dani.

"Liv." Nick said quietly waving a hand in her face

"Yeah, what's up?" She answered turning her attention back to Nick. The Latino detective just smiles and shakes his head, going back to his paperwork.

Olivia turns her eye view back to the rest of the squad. Dani Beck and Cragen stood in the middle of the room, discussing something out of ear shot. Kate and Amanda were missing from the room and everyone else was doing paperwork.

* * *

"What's wrong?" Amanda asked after Katelynn motioned for her to follow her into the bathroom. Katelynn rubbed a shaky hand down her face.

"You don't think I could be pregnant, do you?" The Asian said bluntly.

"Wait, wait. Where is this coming from?"

"I have no idea what could've happened while I was unconscious. When you guys found me, h-he was almost in the act of doing it. Everything just points in that direction." Kate was rambling.

"Kate." The blonde put both hands on her girlfriend's shoulders. "Kate, baby, take a breath calm down." She waited until Katelynn calmed down to continue. "Do you not want children?"

"I do. But…I am scared to."

"Why?"

"My parents treated me like dirt all my life, how would I treat my own?"

"Katelynn, I promise you would be a good mother no matter what, if you're even pregnant."

"If I was, it would just remind me of the worst days of my life."

"When you shot Marcus…he didn't die. He lived." Amanda sighed.

"You waited two days to tell me?"

"It wasn't relevant until now. I'm sorry."

"I'm not angry at you. This is just a lot to take in. I can't wait till all of this is over."

"Even if you are pregnant, it could be a girl, and under the smallest chances it could be a boy, it would be raised around love. Not evil." Amanda reassured Kate.

"Yeah. I'm sorry for blowing all this up in your face. I am overreacting. It was stupid to even think it could be possible." Katelynn put on a sly smile and hung her head a bit.

"No. It wasn't. I am glad that we can just talk things out like this." Amanda returned the smile and gave Kate a quick kiss.

"That definitely changed my mood." The brunette laughed.

* * *

The two women walked out the bathroom back into the squad room. The mood of the squad room was different; signally they had gotten a case.

"Cragen, we got a case?" Katelynn asked. Cragen looked back to her with concerned eyes.

"We did. Go home. You aren't due back yet."

Before she could object, another voice filled the room. "Where is she? Did you find her?" A woman's voice filled ears and everyone turned to its source at the front of the room. A deep lump seemed to ravel from into Kate's mouth, down her throat and deep dive into her stomach.

"Mrs. Romanov, Mr. Asuni, now isn't a good time." Cragen said quickly, obviously trying to hide them from Katelynn's eye sight, but it was too late.

"You found her. I knew they did!" Valentina quietly exclaimed to her former husband. "We've been worried about you, Katalina." They both stood in front of Katelynn and Amanda know.

"That. Is not. My name." The brunette was trying so hard not to lose her cool over this. All her life she had been told she had 'anger management issues'. It showed through many years in school, but she learned to keep it down after to awhile. But this situation wasn't time to reminisce.

"That is your name with us. After all we are your parents." Valentina continued.

Kate laughed silently. "Parents? You two are anything but my parents. Parents hug their child. Parents tell their child they love them. Parents teach their child. Parents congratulate their child on getting valedictorian at their high school graduation. Parents don't hit their child." The Russian part in her came out strong whenever she was feeling deep emotion. You could hear the Russian accent in her voice when she was angry. The squad room fell quiet and their eyes on the 3.

"We are sorry for those years we weren't there for you, Kata." Bae speaks up.

"Oh, I guess since you're so fucking sorry maybe I should forgive you. Oh wait, I am not a child. New flash, you missed your damn chance to be parents." She was louder now. Her pale skin seemed redder. "I don't exactly need parents at the age of 36 though. No big loss there."

"We weren't there then but we would be glad to be there now." Valentina displayed a small smile on her rosy red lips.

"You know what? You are a conniving, mischievous little bitch. It is against the last little bit of faith I have in myself but I hope you die a slow and painful death. No remorse for that."

It seemed like Kate's parent gave up in trying win her favor. They begin to walk out the squad room, leaving all eyes back on Katelynn. The eyes stayed on her before they returned to the case in front of them.

* * *

She shouldn't have been feeling guilt for what she said. She hated them. Surprisingly her mother more that her father. Everything was because of her mother. Valentina had led her father to drink, leading him to beat the living hell out of Kate. Her father lied straight to her face almost 24 years ago and told her she had killed her mother.

* * *

**24 Years Ago Christmas Day**

"_All you ever did was lie!" She shouted to her mother. They had been arguing for hours. Voices raised, glasses shattered._

"_I could've gotten rid of you. I should've terminated you when I had the chance!" Valentina shouted back. Kate shrunk back. In deep thought for a moment. The front door opened and both women knew that Kate's father was home._

_Katelynn lost it. She gave screaming at her mother tackled her to the ground and started kicking her over and over in the stomach, tears streaming down her face. She kicked her in the throat next. Valentina stopped screaming and started gasping for air. Kate stopped kicking as Bae rushed to Tina's side._

_She had never been so scared in her life. She could barely hear her father telling her to call 911. She ran out the front door into the cold snow of New York. She could feel the snow in her hair. _

* * *

"Katelynn?" A voice asked. The brunette came out her flash back, her grip tight on the beer in front of her. A few tears had fell out her grey eyes. She couldn't help it.

"Rafael." She answered her face and mind forced a smile out of her. "It's been years."

"It has. Last time I saw you, we were being handed valedictorian medals." ADA Rafael Barba smiled at the memory as he sat next to her in the bar. They had been really close friends ever since she moved to New York at the age of 11. But they lost touch when he went to Harvard.

"What's going on with you?" The Asian asked.

"Assistant District Attorney."

"That doesn't shock me. Though I would've expected president by now."

He laughed slightly at her joke. "Yeah, I work with Manhattan Special Victims Unit though. "

Kate nearly choked as she took a swing of her drink. "What?"

"I know. Sad job but someone has to do it, right?"

"I work at Special Victims Unit. Manhattan. How the hell have I not heard of you?"

"I was suspended for 2 years. After a little internal affair."

"It is surreal how we haven't met before this. I have worked there for probably around a year."

"Something is on your mind."

"Wow, Rafael. After all these years, you are still able to read me."

"Yes. Now spill."

"It's a long story."

"I have too much time." Rafael shook off his suit jacket and smiled. So the Asian told him everything that happened since the car crash. She was careful with her wording. She also snuck it in there that she was seeing Amanda. The Cuban ADA knew not to interrupt her and listened carefully. The bond they shared over 20 years ago hadn't broken. They still felt like they could tell each other everything.

"Maybe I need to start hanging out with you more." He smiled as he sipped the scotch he had ordered long ago.

* * *

Nearly two hours later, the brunette found herself pacing her apartment. _This isn't real. This isn't real. _She told herself. She was hoping she was wrong. She was hoping IT was wrong. No way in hell was this possible. They didn't recover fluids off her when they did the rape exam. No trauma either. _That doesn't prove it didn't happen. _

That stupid piece of plastic was taunting her. She picked up a glass that was ¼ filled with water and threw it to the ground in frustration with a hollering scream. _This is wrong. I am dreaming. _She pushed shaking palms back on her face pushing her dark brown locks out the way of her face.

Her head was in her hands with her elbows on the counter when she heard her apartment door open. She was too into her thoughts to care who it was.

"Hey—Kate what the hell happened?" Amanda asked as she walked in with the key Kate had given her to see glass shards all over the wooden floor and Katelynn obviously stressed out. The blonde looked to the clock mounted on the far wall. It was close to 10 pm. No response from Kate and Amanda walked closer, putting a hand her shoulder.

The Asian reached into her jean pocket and pulled out the piece of plastic that had be taunting and tormenting her. She threw it on the kitchen counter in front of Amanda, never looking her in the eye.

"Oh my god, Kate."

"Everything makes sense, but at the same time it doesn't. I mean, no fluids were found, no vaginal tearing. But yet, somehow I am just magically pregnant. Funny, huh?" Katelynn laughed, still fixated on the counter.

* * *

**Extra-long chapter. Is Katelynn going to keep her baby? Who's child is it? I just love cliffhanger's  
**


	13. Arguments End in Silence

**A/N: This was to me, a seriously hilarious chapter when they are in the car. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Merry Christmas! For all of my stories, you most likely won't see an update till around January 5.**

* * *

"Kate, you would be a great mother." Amanda tries to explain.

"Yeah, I'm going to take advice from someone who never had the experience." Katelynn scoffed. The words hit the blonde's heart hard, but she knew that Kate was in a stressed state.

"What? And you have?" She retorted, without thinking.

"I didn't say I did!" The brunette's voice rose. "All the more reason not to keep it."

"Stop fighting everyone in this, Kate. I am trying to help you in this." Amanda couldn't help it, her voice rose too.

"I didn't ask for _your _help."

"You know what your problem is?"

"There's a long list, baby."

"You don't have a heart or soul for anything or anyone."

"Oh, please. Make way for perfect Amanda. Gambling problems and a psychotic sister. But she's better than everyone else!"

The Southern Belle shrank back. What her girlfriend had said not only angered her, it tore her heart to pieces. There is no way the Katelynn she knew would say such a thing.

Deep in her mind, the Asian was mentally slapping herself for what she had just said to Amanda. Even though they were arguing, she had crossed a line.

"Amanda—"She began.

"This time I don't think so. I've had enough of your romance re-flow. You're a heartbreaker with an ego. Makes sense out of nothing at all, you were pretty much evil." Amanda stated.

Katelynn just sighed and placed her head and her hands. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She was screwing up everything. She didn't want to lose Amanda.

"You know I've never, never met nobody like you. That ain't no compliment, that's the truth. You're nothing but a cold heart covered in gold. You obviously have some personal and emotional issues you want to deal with by yourself and that's how I'm going to let you handle it." The blonde said quietly before leaving Kate to herself in the apartment.

Out of frustration, the Asian picked up another glass and threw on the ground also.

And that night, for the first time in years, Katelynn Asuni cried herself to sleep.

* * *

**Next Morning 1-6****th**** Precinct 7:58 am**

"Kate! Hurry up!" Olivia shouted from her seat at her desk. Around her were, Nick, Fin, Captain, Melinda, Casey and Alex. In less than an hour, they would be preparing for their drive to DC.

"Okay, Okay…" Kate sighed as she emerged from the bathroom with the simple click of her heels.

"Damn…" Fin and Nick said in unison.

Katelynn wore a long one-shoulder burgundy dress that was cut just above her ankle. The one-shoulder strap and the belt around her waist were colored silver. It was long enough that you could still see every inch of her silver heels. Her dark brown hair was loose on her shoulders.

"What the hell did you do to her Olivia?" Melinda asked.

"You're welcome." The senior detective replied humbly.

"Can I have my jeans back? Please?" Katelynn asked. Nick handed her a red backpack that contained her clothing. The Asian turned around to go back into the bathroom but stopped, took off the heels and walked into the bathroom barefooted.

* * *

**1 hour later**

"I'll drive." Nick announced as he headed to one of the two cars 1pp had issued to them. Captain, Fin, Alex and Casey headed towards the Toyota Camry while Katelynn, Nick, Melinda and Olivia started towards the silver Ford Fiesta.

Nick sat in the driver's seat, Katelynn rode shotgun and Melinda and Olivia held the back. No one had seen or heard from a certain blonde and as much as everyone wanted to ask Kate what was going on, they knew the couple had been having its troubles.

Just before they were about to drive off however, the blonde in question parked her pickup truck in the precinct parking lot.

"Someone decided to join us…" Nick mumbled as Amanda threw her bags in the truck and climbed into the back next to Melinda without a word to anyone.

The awkward and hated tension between Katelynn and Amanda was hard to miss. They didn't look at each other; they barely even acknowledged each other's presence.

Katelynn stuck ear buds in her head to prevent any conversation. She wasn't mad at anyone. She was fucking frustrated at herself. She had screwed things up. The brunette was so used to worry about herself; she didn't know how to accept help. And now, the person she loved the most hated her for it.

Amanda had received around 7 calls and nearly 30 texts from Kate. She didn't answer a single one or listen to a single message. Katelynn was the last person she wanted to talk to.

* * *

**10:37 am**

"Why is everyone so quiet?" Melinda asked after around 1 hour into their journey.

"Well, because Katelynn and Amanda hate each other right now. That's why." Olivia answered, her eyes clued to her 136 level in Candy Crush Saga.

"I don't hate her. She hates me." Katelynn added her head looking out the window, still half-listening to her music.

That was the end of their 'conversation' for a while. The radio played quietly in the background. Olivia, determined to not have two of her best friends fight, leaned forward and turned it up louder.

"Really, Liv?" Nick laughed.

"Yes really. This is like the greatest song in history." Olivia smiled. Believe it or not, Pour It Up (Remix) was now blasting in the car.

* * *

_Say, Rih-Rih, let's take this shit to the street one-time, you know?  
Throwin' hundreds like loose change (still got my money)  
Got your broad in that Mulsanne (that Bentley, homie)  
Seats whiter than cocaine (that 40 on me)  
Got me and Chi-Chi, bring broads, mane  
She like my homie_

* * *

Olivia sang. Melinda was laughing and Nick had a huge smile on his face. Katelynn looked with her unamused eyes at the rearview mirror at Olivia, which only fueled their laughter.

* * *

_I'm King Tut with my gold chain  
My partner with me, he the dope mane  
Straight gassed, nigga, that BP  
On that E40, that OG  
These bitch niggas be actin' up  
These hoe niggas be actin' foul  
They'll grind with you, they'll shine with you  
Be pointing' fingers off at your trial  
My Rolls Royce with my driver in it  
Getting' fucked up 'cause I ain't got to drive  
Got Kendrick on them bottles  
Came and poured a swimming pool and we about to dive  
Got one room, got three bitches  
And you're damn right that's where they're supposed to be  
Two glock .40s at all times  
I'll shoot back if niggas shoot at me, you know it_

* * *

Nick joined in with Olivia.

* * *

_Ohhh…_

All I see is signs

_all I see is dollar signs  
Ohhh…  
Money on my mind  
Money, money on my mind  
Throw it, throw it up  
Watch it fallout from the sky  
Throw it up, throw it up  
Watch it all fall out  
Pour it up, pour it up  
That's how we ball out  
Throw it up, throw it up  
Watch it all fall out  
Pour it up, pour it up  
That's how we ball out  
That's how we ball out  
That's how we ball out  
That's how we ball out_

* * *

Melinda laughed/sang the chorus. Still, Amanda and Kate stayed completely silent.

* * *

_My foreign cars – domestic beefs  
Peter Luger's – the better seats  
Dollar after dollar – bottle after bottle  
Late for you haters even though my plane charter  
Suede Bally shoes, true rude boy  
Ferrari 400 horses, we do it for cool points  
Baby, do the math – I'm coppin' Chanel bags  
Talkin' Bell Harbour cigars for her man's  
Know we run the streets, eatin' cold bully beef  
Now we at the Grammys, Tom Ford to my feet  
Boss on the avey, Rihanna screensaver  
Whenever you see the fat boy, you know it mean paper_

* * *

Nick continued the song as he drove. Once again, no response from the two non-participating ladies.

* * *

_Juicy J pourin' up codeine – Benz all white, no chlorine  
Bad chick with me got ass and titties  
Freaky bitch gon' fuck the whole team  
Ziploc bag full of OG – I go in like a door key  
Your girlfriend on both knees, she catch more balls than a goalie  
Purple all in my sprite, I'm high as Denzel on Flight  
Scared of money, don't make no money  
You niggas shaky like dice  
I'm in the bed with your wife  
We poppin' pills, we goin' hard  
When she with you she a church girl  
When she with me she a pornstar  
Smokin' on doobies like cigarettes  
Which one of these strippers give head the best?  
Pussy so good that I think I'm in love  
what am I saying? It must be the drugs  
Pour it up, pop that ass out, make it rain, hoe  
I'll make it flood, shorty, you might need a raincoat_

* * *

The three continued to sing and laugh. Katelynn couldn't help but smile. She wasn't in as a foul mood as Amanda.

* * *

_Strip clubs and dollar bills  
still got more money  
Patron shots, can I get a refill?  
I still got more money  
Strippers goin' up and down that pole  
And I still got my money  
Four o'clock and we ain't going home  
Still got more money  
Money make the world go around  
I still got my money  
Bands make your girl go down  
Still got more money  
Lot more where that came from  
Still got more money  
The look in your eyes, I you know you want some  
Still got more money  
Pour it up, pour it up  
That's how we ball out  
That's how we ball out  
That's how we ball out  
That's how we ball out_

* * *

Melinda and Olivia each concluded a plan in their head as they sung with bright smiles on their faces.

"Katelynn, I dare you to sing the next part." Melinda said, still laughing.

"If I do, will you guys shut up?" Katelynn said with all seriousness.

"Maybe." Olivia answered.

"Fine. Lucky I know this song…"

* * *

_I catch a case and I go to jail (still got more money)  
I came home and went back over there (still got more money)  
I'm multiplying everything I spend (still got more money)  
These trap niggas I represent (still got more money)  
It's Hustle Gang and we poppin'  
Got big bank rolls in our pockets  
Hoppin' out a foregin vehicle  
Throwin' forty Gs, ain't no issue, bitch, bitch!  
I'm thorough as it get, official, bitch, bitch!  
Better watch your pussy poppin'  
I might wanna come and get you, bitch  
Now everywhere you may see me  
Surrounded by bad bitches like Rih-Rih  
Got them booty shots, look like Nicki  
Face and toes pretty, I'm picky  
See these trap niggas, they on to me  
And these rap niggas up under me  
Ain't nothin' for me to get a hundred keys  
And then stimulate the economy, like…_

_Ohhh…  
All I see is signs  
all I see is dollar signs  
Ohhh…  
Money on my mind  
Money, money on my mind  
Throw it, throw it up  
Watch it fallout from the sky  
Throw it up, throw it up  
Watch it all fall out  
Pour it up, pour it up  
That's how we ball out  
Throw it up, throw it up  
Watch it all fall out  
Pour it up, pour it up  
That's how we ball out  
That's how we ball out  
That's how we ball out  
That's how we ball out_

* * *

At the end of their little 'concert' everyone was laughing, even Amanda. Maybe things could go back to normal.


	14. Forgiveness

She sat in the hotel, typing away at her laptop working on a case. It was close to 5pm and she wasn't going to stop till she found a connection between the suspect and the victim.

She sat back in the hotel's wooden desk chair. She let out a sigh in exhaustion and let her blonde hair hang over the back. She closed her eyes as she ran fingers through her hair as she focused on the case. But when she opened them however, all she could do is see her phone.

Amanda picked the device up and turned it on for the first time since yesterday evening. Automatically, she saw 4 calls from Katelynn, not that surprising. But the blonde did find it strange Kate only left one voicemail on the first call. She decided what harm would it do to listen to it? Amanda was pissed at Kate. Everything Kate had said hurt her, deeply. But, she pressed play on the voicemail anyway.

* * *

"_Amanda, I am probably the last person you would want to speak with, I know that. But I also know I really fucked up. I was pissed at a lot of people and trust me; you were not one of them. I was pissed at Marcus Preston, My parents, and especially myself. I had found out a lot of things over the last few days. One of them being I had a sister, and she has a daughter. Another thing being the man who kidnapped me was still alive and I was pregnant with his child. I was horrible and I didn't know how to deal with these things .But that does not excuse a damn thing I said to you. You probably hate me and I don't blame you. I guess I was just so used to taking care of myself, I didn't know how to accept help. I don't deserve you or your forgiveness. I really don't. I've already lost myself Amanda. I don't want to lose you. I love you."_

* * *

Tears threatened Amanda's eyes at Kate's words. Amanda knew she had made the brunette probably feel worse with her silence treatment earlier. Amanda was the one who didn't deserve her other half.

And with that, the Southern Belle shot up from the desk chair and exited her hotel room, remembering to grab her room key. Her flats against the yellow carpet made no sound as she went across the hall to Olivia's room. She knocked on room 165 carefully.

She could distinguish the sound of sheets moving, someone shushing someone else, laughing and then finally the door opening to reveal Olivia mocha eyes. Amanda couldn't help but smile at the senior detective attire.

The tan sweater Olivia was wearing earlier was now backwards and inside out. Her brown locks where everywhere and her jeans were unzipped.

"Hey Amanda." Olivia said surprised.

"Hey, what room is Katelynn in?" Amanda asked in a hurry. Olivia pointed to the room two doors down from her on the right.

* * *

Katelynn sat on the floor of the hotel. She had been there since they arrived. She was busy thinking. She was thinking over whether or not she was really going to keep this child. What if it is evil just like its father? But Amanda did have a point, if it wasn't a girl; it would surrounded by love and happiness not evil. At the end however, Kate found more pros to the situation than cons. The Asian stood to her feet, wiped her sweat filled palms off on her red flannel shirt and her dark denim jeans when she heard a knock on her hotel room door.

Slowly, she moved to open it. Kate barely even got to see the blondes figure before Amanda went in and kissed her warm lips. Amanda wrapped her arms around Kate's neck and in sync, Katelynn wrapped her arms around Amanda's waist as they walked back into the hotel room. Amanda closed the door with foot and pressed Kate's back against the wall, still not breaking the kiss.

Their tongues were mingled together. Even though she was caught off guard by the affection, the brunette still accepted it. A moan escaped both women. Amanda's fingers found the brunette locks and she intertwined the hair and her fingers.

They stayed like that for a while until Amanda pulled away.

"Hey." Kate smiled slightly.

"Hey." Amanda replied as she scanned Kate's face. "I am sorry about yesterday. I should've known you were stressed about the whole situation. This is my entire fault.

"No. It's not. We both said some things we normally wouldn't have. I crossed a line. You had every right to be pissed at me."

"Have you decided what you are going with the baby?"

"Yeah, I am going to keep it. I have always wanted a child. It could be fun."

"So you're not worried about being a mother anymore?"

"A little still. But if I wasn't caring and delicate I wouldn't have the job I would have now."

"I'm glad you think that. It would be cute to see a mini Katelynn. Sarcastic, Curious and a total badass."

Katelynn laughed at Amanda's description of her unborn child. "Does that mean we're okay again?"

"Definitely."

"Come here." The brunette said, grabbing Amanda's hand and leading her out the hotel room. Katelynn went and knocked on Olivia's and Fin's door.

When the two opened, they looked with confused faces at Kate.

"What's going on?" Fin asked.

"Melinda, can you come out her please?" Katelynn said into Fin's room. The African-American's cheeks blushed bright red, so did Fin's. "Nick, you too." She said, this time into Olivia's room.

"Now, does anyone have the files on the Wilson case?" Kate asked smiling. Amanda laughed at her girlfriend's tactic at embarrassing everyone. Everyone shook their red blushed heads no.

"Oh okay. Bye, bye now!" She smiled like a little school girl and half skipped half walked back into her hotel room.

"Amanda, you better watch your girlfriend." Fin said, still blushing from embarrassment.

**Next Morning**

The SVU gang packed back into the cars, this time without bags and dressed in formal wear. Melinda wore a short layered yellow dress with black heels that accented her skin color perfectly. Olivia went for a flowing black strapless dress that fell about 2 inches below her knees. Also with stunning black heels. With the help of Olivia, Amanda was able to choose a deep forest green dress that was a little shorter than Katelynn's, and silver flats.

Alex, being the professional one, decided against a dress and picked a crème colored shirt and a black flowing dress shirt that she tucked into the shirt. Casey, loving the color blue, picked a dress similar to Melinda's; except for the color and the fact hers wasn't layered.

Katelynn drove the Ford Fiesta that contained, Melinda, Nick, Casey and Amanda. Katelynn and Amanda held the front.

"I see you two are back to being a happy couple." Casey jokes.

"Says the woman who is married with two children." Melinda points out.

"Touché…"

"I bet they are secretly planning on getting married, moving to Idaho and have 20 children all under the influence of Catholicism with names like Mary Sue and Frank." Nick laughs.

"Shut up, Nick." Katelynn says. But they continue to laugh, including Amanda. "What the hell is so funny?"

"The Russian in you comes out strong when you're pissed." Melinda answered.

"Oh shut up." The Asian said, trying to keep her accent down, but failed

* * *

Nearly 30 minutes later, they all entered the building where the Annual NYPD Awards Ceremony was being held. The walls decorated in a deep red vintage floral wall paper and burgundy curtains on the walls. Chairs were set up in front of the stage in rows of 10. Seats filled with detectives, captains, lieutenants, sergeants, medical examiners, along with the occasional uniform.

Everyone took their seats in the rows marked 'Manhattan SVU'. From left to right it was Captain, Katelynn, Amanda, Alex, Casey, Melinda, Fin, Nick and Olivia. A male uniform sat next to Olivia's right.

"Please explain to me why I have to be here. Technically, I don't work for you anymore." Katelynn said to Captain as people continued to fill their seats.

"You'll see." Was how he replied.

After another 10 minutes, the police commissioner took the stage and began to read off names for awards. As each person took stage, shook his hand and returned to their seats with their award, the sun fell lower.

"And now, this award goes to a woman who has been through it all. She has had her world turned upside down and flipped inside out. She had been through Hell and high water. An amazing and outstanding detective. And for that, I am proud to give the Medal of Valor to Detective Katelynn Romanov Asuni of Manhattan Special Victims Unit at the 1-6th precinct." He continued.

* * *

**BTW, there will be around 2 or 3 chapters left in this story till I bring it to an end. Maybe I will do a sequel? Anyway, do you think Kate should have a girl or boy?**


	15. Driving

_I am really enjoying this story and can not wait for more: _**Aw, Thanks!**

_Nice twist! I hope Kate and Amanda raise the baby together: _** Haha, gotta keep ready and find out!**

_This chapter was hilarious and sad at the same time. Kate was such a jerk to Amanda.: _** Thanks. And Ikr. There is a reason behind every cliffhanger though.**

_Awesome as always!: _**Aw you guys are so nice. **

"Three cheers for Lynnie!" Olivia said in the car as they heading back from the Awards Ceremony to the hotel.

"You know I used to kick anyone's ass that called me Lynnie or Lynn as a kid?" Katelynn said tuning around in the passenger's seat towards Liv.

"Yeah, like you were a violent person." Olivia scoffed, still laughing a bit.

"I was, until I got into middle school I realized that fighting meant suspension, suspension meant more time alone with my father." The Asian sighed looking her head out into the dark starry D.C sky.

Amanda reaches over and held Kate's hand with a slight frown. They drove the rest of the way in silence.

**Next Morning**

Katelynn leaned her head against the passenger window. A lot of things were on her mind, for one, she was pregnant. Half of her was excited. ¼ was worried. The other ¼ was sad. But she knew for a fact she was going to keep the baby. Eternally, she felt calm. She had never felt this type of calm before. Maybe it was just the hormones. No one knew about her pregnancy except Amanda and Cragen, who both fully understood.

She was glad and lucky Amanda was by her side in this. She knew Amanda could've bailed on her and been that angry with her she never wanted to see Kate again. But instead of thinking about that, she put her ear bud back in her ear, turned the volume up to 10, closed her grey eyes and leaned back against the seat.

**(A/N: Alex, Melinda, Kate, Amanda and Olivia are in the car)**

"Um, Mandy is Kate okay?" Alex asked looking at Kate.

"She's—Katelynn. Why do you ask?" Amanda answered.

"Well, for one thing, she's calm, second, she leaning against the window with her eyes closed silently humming Hold on, we're going home by Drake." The ADA said matter-of-factly.

Everyone listened in quietly to try and hear the brunette. And sure enough, Katelynn's humming could be heard.

"Guys, just because I have ear buds in my ears don't mean I can't hear you." Katelynn smirked. "Amanda, could you turn in there please?" She asked pointing to a long road to the left.

"Um, sure." The blonde answered steering the car in that direction.

"Thanks…" The Asian mumbled as she unbuckled her seat belt and hopped out car. They had pulled into a gated community sort of neighborhood right outside of Maryland. Everyone watched with curiosity and confusion as they watched Katelynn's grey combat boots walk down the grey stoned pathway to a white and grey townhouse. The wind blew her dark brown locks into her face and she did everything to push them out the way.

Olivia and Amanda watched as she knocked her pale knuckles on the large grey door. Within seconds, the door opened to reveal a woman with straight black hair. The woman seemed surprised to see Kate. But surprise was filled later with a somewhat angry expression. The two exchanged words, that was until a small child, no older than 3 came into the doorway. Amanda's curious blue eyes watched as Katelynn bent down to the child's height and gave the young boy a hug.

The got parts of the conversation. Words like 'what' 'too late' 'mother'. The car was too far away to hear anymore.

Katelynn gave the woman a hug too before walking back to the car. "Sorry for taking so long."

"No, it's okay. Who was that?" Amanda asked starting drive the car again.

"Um." Kate cleared her throat. "You're going to find out about this soon anyway, that's my daughter and my grandson."

"Explanation please." Olivia asked blinking in confusion.

"When I was 15, I had a daughter and gave her away. I didn't even know that she had a son until now." She answered quickly, indicating she didn't want to dwell on the subject.

"I knew she looked familiar." Olivia said, now smirking.

"Of course, Olivia would think of it that way." Kate laughed.

"Well, now that means you'd have two kids." Amanda smiled slightly before silently cursing herself.

"WHAT?" Melinda, Alex, and Olivia said in unison, all with smiles on their faces.

"I can't believe the ball dropped yesterday and we weren't in New York to see it…" The grey-eyed detective mumbled trying to avoid the elephant in the car. "Oh look, a radio…when did that get there?" She said, now trying to turn the radio on.

"Oh my god! When were you going to tell us!?" Olivia exclaimed.

"How many weeks are you along? Is it a girl or boy?" Alex's face stretched to a smile so large, you would think it hurt.

"Who's the father?" Melinda shook with anticipation.

"I told you they would act like this…" Amanda chuckled silently.

"Um, about 10 weeks, I don't find out the sex till next week, and for the father it's Marcus Preston." Katelynn answered.

"Oh, sorry, I shouldn't have asked. But the good part is, he was a blonde and he had blue eyes. For all we know, it could come out a blonde hair and blue eyed Asian. Then it would definitely look like you and Amanda's kid." Melinda said.

"Oh I would love to see that." Alex agreed. "Maybe I could teach it the factors of law like I did Rebecca and Jason…"

"Oh hell no. My child is NOT going to up your demonic spawns of hell you call children." Kate quickly retorted.

The car erupted in laughter as the women of SVU drove.

**1 Week Later**

"Where is that bitch!?" A voice rang through the squad room. The brunette quickly got up from her paperwork and headed towards the voice.

"Ma'am, Ma'am, I need you to call down." Katelynn said. It was the infamous Kathy Stabler. But of course, Kate didn't know that.

"I'm looking for a Detective Asuni? Where is that bitch?" Mrs. Stabler asked again. The only people in the squad room were Kate and Nick.

"I am Detective Asuni how can I-"But the Asian didn't get to finish her sentence as Kathy sucker punched her in the nose and pushed her back against a desk.

Automatically, Nick was up, about to put handcuffs on Elliot's wife. Kate was caught off and fell back towards a desk. She hit her head on the side of the desk holding her nose. The back of her head throbbed and her vision was blurring.

"Captain! Call a bus!" Was the last thing she heard.

**BTW, I fucking hate Kathy Stabler to an extreme! And I don't even ship E/O like that. Reviews make me happy. Feel free to leave one! Hope you enjoyed that cliffhanger :) **


	16. I Love You

Dr. Mia Lee's brown eyes scanned the packed ER room for a certain person. She sighed in exhaustion and relief when she spotted Nick Amaro with his head in his hands, dressed in blood soaked clothes. Also surrounding him were, Katelynn Asuni, a detective she loved to work with and see, co-workers.

"Dr. Lee, how is she?" Nick asked upon seeing Dr. Lee walk towards the group.

"The flow from the back of her head has stopped. The fact this is probably her 3 concussion concerns me slightly." Mia began looking over he notes.

"Thank god." Nick said quietly. Fin, Olivia, and Captain listened in.

"I am also concerned about the babies." She continued. Olivia chuckled at the three boys confused looks before replaying what the doctor had said.

"Wait a second, _babies?_" The senior detective repeated.

"Oh yes. We conducted an ultrasound. Katelynn is approximately 3 months pregnant with twin girls. I am concerned about the lack of air they received when she hit her head." The doctor looked between the group.

"Liv, Nick? What is going on?" The Southern drawl was unmistakable as Amanda filled the ER waiting room. "I get a text from Nick telling me some psychotic blonde bitch came into the squad room and sucker punched my girlfriend and you're in the fucking ER, what the hell?"

"Oh. My. God. Is that blood?" Amanda questioned, taking in Nick's attire.

"One of you may see her now." Dr. Mia Lee cleared her throat, remembering the group of her presence. "I think it would be better if the person she last saw should see her first. That way her brain won't get too overworked trying to remember who you are if there is memory loss. I believe that is you sir?"

"Yeah." Nick said standing.

"Room 104." The doctor flashes one more smile before heading off to her next patient.

* * *

"Do you ever have a normal day?" The Latino detective asked after entering the room to see Katelynn on one side, her chocolate waves covering her face slightly.

"I did once. It was a Thursday." She chuckled.

He walked closer to her and pulled the thin wavy strands out her face.

"Who the hell was that that fucking broke my nose and gave me a concussion?"

"Um, Olivia's old partner Elliot's wife." Nick answered, taking a seat in front of her.

"And she punched me because?"

"We haven't gotten there yet."

"You know I would've blocked that if I would've seen it coming, right?"

"Yeah right."

"I have a question for you."

"I might have an answer."

"After the car crash, when you took me home from the hospital…why did you kiss me?"

"I was attracted to you."

"Are you still? I mean, you're with Olivia so…"

There was a long pause in the room. Nobody said anything, but Kate's grey eyes look him directly in him brown ones.

"I was attracted to you. No offense, but I didn't _love _you. I mean, I love Olivia. But I didn't know you weren't attracted to men." Nick finally said.

"No offense taken."

* * *

"Have you ever had a normal day?" Amanda chuckled slightly.

"Nick asked me that same question…" Kate smiled putting her jacket on.

"It's twins. Girls." The blonde suddenly announced.

"I know." Kate still smiled. "They told me earlier.

The Southern sighed loudly.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked, upon seeing this action as they exited the hospital.

"You have so much family…And mines won't even talk to me."

The Asian took her hand out of her pea-coat pocket, intertwined her fingers with Amanda's and put both their hands in her pocket. "I am your family. And what family do I have?"

Amanda put on a sly smile at her girlfriends affection. "Your daughter, your grandson, Katrina, your niece, me."

"Amanda, that is your family too as long as I am around."

* * *

Later on that day, the two found themselves at Katelynn's apartment, on her bed looking at the ultrasound pictures.

"They look like peanuts…" Amanda said silently.

"Really, Amanda?" Kate laughed. Amanda's blonde locks lay on Kate's chest diagonally facing the ultrasound picture in Kate's hands.

"Have you thought of any names yet?"

"We can cross out Demetrius. Already taken."

"I like Celestia. Sounds medieval."

"I have always loved the name Genevieve."

"That was fast." Amanda chuckled.

"You know, a few months ago, I would have never saw myself like this."

"What do you mean?"

"About to be a mother, with somebody, happy."

There was a long silence as Amanda soaked in Kate's words. "I know you've been hurt by someone else, I can tell by the way, you carry yourself."

"Yeah, and?"

"But if you let me, I could be there for you."

"I've loved and I've lost. That doesn't mean anything." The brunette sighed.

"Yes, it does."

"You're cute when you're concerned." Kate smiled.

"I'm cute no matter what."

"Debatable."

"Kate?

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**January 4**

"Okay, so your wife came in here and broke my nose because she thought my child was yours? Please explain further." Katelynn said to Elliot Stabler. They were in the squad room along with Olivia and Melinda.

"Well, according to DNA, Elliot is the brother of Marcus Preston. Kathy came into my lab the other the day and I just happened to be checking the DNA you asked me to do and Elliot's picture popped because he was in the system. Kathy decided to jump to conclusions." Melinda explained shrugging.

Olivia was staring daggers at Elliot. She wasn't pissed. She was fucking infuriated at him. How could someone just up and leave after almost 12 years and doesn't even bother to send a fucking goodbye?

But it didn't matter now. She had Nick.

* * *

**I am so sorry; I just had to bring Elliot back :) Get ready for some Bensaro/EO drama. Along with some Fin and Melinda fluff. I am guess approx. 2 chapters. But it could be more muahauauaahauhauha *EVIL LAUGH***


	17. January 4Its Alway Darkness Before Dawn

**January 4 (cont.)**

* * *

"Olivia?" Katelynn asked upon opening her apartment door at 6pm.

"Come on, we have places to go." Olivia said simply, dressed in jeans and red shirt. "I would change if I were you."

Kate looked down at her attire: red boy shirts and an oversized Naruto shirt. "Um, okay…Come in."

Olivia stepped inside the apartment and closed the door. "Really, Naruto?"

"It's like one of the only Japanese stereotypes I allow myself: Liking Anime and loving sushi. Give me a break." The grey eyed woman answered walking off into her bedroom to change for this abrupt 'visit'.

Olivia waited patiently outside the bedroom. On the black coffee table sat a bowl of something (Olivia knew Kate was too stubborn to tell anybody what it was, more the less admit it was weird), a bag from the corner store down the street and her TV was on to what appeared, a science fiction movie on mute.

* * *

"Mind if I ask what all of this is about?" Kate called from her bedroom, seconds before emerging now dressed in black jeans and a loose flowing crème colored dress shirt. Noted by Olivia, her small baby bump was making an appearance.

"It's a secret." The older woman smirked. Katelynn raised her eyebrows as Olivia pulled a red gift bag from behind her back and handed it to her.

"Okay, this isn't getting any more lucid…" The brunette said, opening the bag. Inside, a small stuffed Panda bear, a card and a long velvet box made space. Katelynn decided to read the car first.

"You are my stars, my moon and my sun. My hope, my peace and my happiness. To imagine a day without you is like imagining a lifetime without air. Happy birthday to my life, Katelynn Noelle Naomi Asuni. From, Amanda." She read aloud, she couldn't hold back her enormous smile. But that quickly turned to a frown.

"Kate?" Olivia asked after watching her stand there with a frown on her face.

"Um sorry. This whole birthday thing just made me remember something." She answered.

"Well, we don't have time for that. Let's go!" Olivia commanded cheerfully.

"Wait." Kate said, opening the rectangle purple velvet box.

Katelynn had never been a 'jewelry' person. Her mother had forced her to get her ears pierced. The only jewelry she ever really wore was her stud ear rings and the occasional long small chain necklace with some type of small charm on it. But this was beautiful.

It was a long charm styled necklace with a silver metal rectangle at the end. After taking a closer look, she realized it was engraved; _it's Always Darkest before Dawn_

The Asian securely put the necklace around her neck before walking out the door of her apartment into the cold January weather.

* * *

"We have reached our destination." Olivia smiled. They were parked in front of a restaurant on Staten Island, after almost an hour of driving. Kate exited the car and headed to the restaurant, already happy with today's turn of events.

She spotted Amanda's platinum blonde locks immediately.

"Happy birthday." Amanda beamed upon seeing her girlfriend slide into the booth.

"You have surprised me, Rollins. You know my full name, my favorite animal, my favorite _quote_. Seems as though you know more about me than I thought." Katelynn smiled, giving Amanda a quick kiss, earning some looks from people who didn't exactly approve of the whole 'lesbian' idea.

"I think I know everything about you." Amanda challenged sipping from her water.

"Oh really? I accept that challenge, Amanda Sarah Jean Rollins." Kate teased, mocking her accent on her name.

"Oh you did not just mock me." The blonde put her hand over her heart like it had actually hurt.

"Yes, yes I did. Now, why did you do all this for me? I mean, it's just my birthday-"

Amanda cut her off by stuffing one of carrots that had come with one of the appetizer basket the waitress had given them a few minutes ago.

"You only turn 37 once. And I love you a little too much to let you have another birthday alone, sad and depressed, okay?"

"I hate birthdays, I really do. But you made me like it."

"Why do you hate birthdays?" questioned Amanda.

"The last birthday I remember celebrating was my 13th birthday with my best friend, Rafael and his parents, it was also the day why father told the upright lie that I killed my own mother."

"This is exactly why this one is going to be perfect."

* * *

Almost an hour later, the two found themselves on the streets of Staten Island, snow in their hair, laughing their asses off, arms linked.

"So let me get this straight, your favorite food is fried peanut butter and mustard?" Katelynn laughed.

"Yes, what is so funny about that? Your favorite food is sushi." Amanda said in an as-if tone.

"That makes since. I'm Japanese for crying out loud!" Kate stated, still laughing. The blonde stood back and crossed her arms and made a fake pouty face.

"Aww." Kate smiled. Katelynn was probably around 2 and half inches taller than Amanda. She stood in front of Amanda and gave her a full and passionate kiss on the lips.

"Thank you for the best birthday I could possibly ask for."

"You don't have to say thank you.

And with that, they continued walking into a small park. They sat on a park bench as the snow fell heavy on their coats and the white flakes decked their hair. They had been sitting in comfortable silence, holding hands. The snow fall lightened up.

"Hey." Amanda said softly.

"Hey."

"I really don't watch enough romance movies to know how to do this, but here."

Kate looked over to see a small velvet box, made out of the same velvet material as the box her necklace came in.

"I don't know if you see it, but I really care about you and love you beyond any measure. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let something happen to you or the two miniature yous inside of you. With that said." Amanda picks up the box and opened it to reveal a beautiful gold ring that wasn't too show offy, but caught your attention. "Will you, Katelynn Noelle Naomi Asuni accept me to be your totally awesome wife and to get me to stop rambling?"

For the first time in her life, Katelynn was at a loss for words. She stuttered trying to find her voice and say yes.

"Oh will you just fucking say yes?" Olivia's impatient voice said from in front of them, about 8 feet away. With her consisted of Nick, Fin and Melinda.

Kate looked down blushing. "I think I can do better than that."

To both of them, it felt like something you would see in some cliché romance movie. They felt that feeling of content you get after watching a thunderstorm for 5 hours. Katelynn pressed her lips against Amanda's, her left palm on Amanda's face her thumb stroking her collar bone. Amanda's smiled into the kiss. As it felt about 1000 times better than anyway of the thousands of kisses they had shared.

"Definitely a yes." The brunette answered after their lips parted.

"Oh my god, that is so beautiful." Melinda smiled.

"Happy birthday, Little Asia." Fin said.

"Where did that nickname come from?" The Asian raised an eyebrow.

"My awesome mind."

Both women were reflecting on their lives now. They were newly engaged. Surrounding by their friends and family. Soon to be parents of two beautiful baby girls. Neither woman could be happier.

And just to think, both their hearts were in a thousand pieces a little over a year ago.

Maybe there it is always darkness before dawn.

They just hit morning.

* * *

**This was so fun guys! I enjoyed writing this more than you know it. The sequel should be up in less than a day. The first chapter is going to be the birth of Katelynn's baby girls. Also, I may need help writing the wedding scene…I am not too sure on lesbian weddings. PM me if you can help. I will give credit. **


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